Entries for January, 2005
January 23rd, 2005
TV Shows
Today, I really think media has gone way out of their own businesses to talk about gross stuffs and some private ones in public. But what do we know? They are bad for our society because they are so public and they don't mind their own business. They are so greed of money and fame and everything else that they go and hurt alot of people's feelings because they unvail publicly their privacy... which is not right because we all have our right for our own privacy.Other than that, I see that media is good too. In some way, they open the eyes of alot of people of whatever's happening now in our society... opening us to the truth... the truth that really hurts-- and really sucks!
Anyway, I've been watching alot of TV shows yesterday and this afternoon.
3:30pm
Watched the last part of Ek Channel. Wasn't that good though since it's all about gossips at mga kung anu-anong paninira at English carabao. One of D'Bodies was featured and para syang bisaya magsalita! Nakakainis! Akala mo naman kung sino tong may sasabihin! Akala mo papansining sya ng mga pinapatamaan niya! Ngek-ngek mo! Malas mo na lang at di ka nila ka-level para pansinin nila... like JC Parker. Tapos si Ogie ang galing nga ng English, nakakaloka naman ang mga bago niyang food for thought! Hay nako! Just listen to this one:
Mystery repeats itself.
And another one!
Practice makes the heart grow fond.
Anu na?! San ka pa? Ü
4pm
This time, I watched a really commendable show: Y Speak!
Nung una syang pinalabas, di ba gabihan kaya naman di ko napansin agad. Pero nung minsan ko syang makita after EK, kasi akala ko di pa tapos yung talk show, it caught my attention. Their topic when I first saw this was Love before sex... or sex before love? Of course, when I saw this I immediately thought to myself that the natural answer would be love first because I'm a believer of true love. But what I didn't know was there are alot of liberated people now a days. Meron nang mga Pinoy na sex-addicts just like Americans-- especially boys!
Pero eto ang kagulat-gulat: sexy star Christian Vasquez was on the side of love before sex! Yes! And I quite have an idea here why. Dahil na rin siguro sa may asawa't anak na sya. Ang alam ko nga hiwalay na sila eh. But it only shows that he already experienced true love-- whether to his ex-wife or not-- and he's just as matured as other ladies.
Kahapon naman, kung first yon, eto naman ang latest: Kelangan na bang mag-condom ang kinse anyos? Still about sex huh? Kaya naman di ako masyadong maka-relate eh! Haha!
Anyway, about yesterday's topic, they had alot of opinion and they really did make me think. Sabi nila dapat daw for, of course, protection. Of course in this case, the argument would be pag binigyan mo lalo lang mate-tempt na magkasala. In this one, the answer would be: if you educate your kid about sex doesn't necessarily mean s/he can already have sex, same goes for condom na di porke binigyan ka eh gagamitin mo na. It's for emergency purposes as they said it. And in this argument, comes the trust part in which kapag binigyan mo nga, alam mo na meron talagang pwedeng mangyari. Ay anu ba!
Ahh basta, here'e my stand about the argument: I do believe that boys should take the condom even at an early age. Actually, in today's reality, did you ever ask yourself if the age 15 is still young? I don't think so. You'd normally say that 15 is still young and should still be guided by the parents. But it actually differ according to their environment. Me, of course I am aware of our world today and I completely know what a condom is. I even joke around about the topic! But Y Speak just interviewed a boy and a girl, both junior students from Bataan I think, the boy didn't know what a condom exactly is! Sabi pa nya: Basta alam ko yung condom ginagamit sa family planning para di dumami ang anak. What? And you don't even know how it all works? Oh, come on!
Kaya nga sa argument, lumabas din ang fact na nagpapaka-ignorante ang mga may ayaw magbigay ng condom sa anak at an early age. They are still conservative about the topic and they don't talk about it much at home. Napapagiwanan ika nga ng panahon. Di rin naman natin sila kasi matatawag na inosente because they know it, nagbubulagbulagan lang. And that's the worst part!
Ang sagot nila eh: isn't education enough? No. It ain't enough now in today's world. Let's see, in schools, why do we have video tapes? Yes, to have interest in the lesson. Para lalo pang matutunan ang dapat matutunan. Without them, you won't learn much. Nung panahon ng Kastila walang video tapes kaya tinawag na mangmang tayo! Ok fine, just joking.
Anyway, back to the argument. Have you ever noticed this: bakit "condom for boys" lang? Meron naman pills ang girls ah?
This is a simple question that calls for a simple explanation. It's because boys are more agressive when it comes to sex than girls. Yes it's true. Girls don't think much of sex as boys do. Sex isn't that lovely for girls without love. Ang sex, wala lang sa babae, ang tunay na importante ay ang sinapupunan nya... na sana eh may pumintig na buhay sa puson nya matapos syang pagurin ng mister niya!
In the end, all of us are entitled to our own belief. We should know who we are and what we should do. Whether you are conservative or liberated, just make sure that every decision made, paninindigan mo. At higit sa lahat, no turning back... walang sisihan... be firm of your instincts. Have faith in yourself. And most of all: Have faith in God.
Hay nako! Naloka ako sa mga pinagsusulat kong yun! Ah basta!
mood artistic
listen BEP's Where Is The Love?
read Meg Prom Issue
yahn @ 08:40 PM | Ice-peek! [Add comment/s]
January 24th, 2005
PROM TIME! Ü
Dear Diary,I can't actually believe it! I'm so much overwhelmed by the news. It's truly PROM TIME already!
Oh my goodness! I'm quite so speechless now! Especially I'm part of the cuo.. cou.. whatever! Cotilyon! Yun na yon! Haha! Grave ang saya-saya!
Gonna go find some more nice dress first for the prom! See ya!
^_^
Dianne...Ü
yahn @ 07:33 PM [Add comment/s]
The good and bad news
Dear Diary,Hello! Good afternoon now! We just got home from the school. For your info, today's the release of cards. And... I'm not so excited over anything about the topic. I don't feel too frustrated nor too overwhelmed with the good-bad news I'm about to share.
I went down under. Yep. Not just 2... 3... or even 5 notches! 7 notches actually! Yes. Too bad for me. From number 3 now I'm only 10. That's the bad news. And what about the good news? That is also the good news! Haha! Actually, this is only a fact. But it naturally has a two-fold effect on me.
The bad thing: I went down obviously and my grade slipped. I actually went down in 3 subjects of mine, namely AP, English and Chem. Chem? Yes it's true. I'm no more Best in Chem. Well, maybe not for the third quarter only. ^_^ You know very well anyway how optimistic I am. I have high hopes here and I'm very determined this time to actually get my goals. As for you know, only 2 months to go until I'll finally know the result of all this dreaming and goal-setting of mine.
Anyway, the good side: I have one last chance. I thank GOD so much for HE gave me one last chance to prove my worth. Even though I went down and my grades slipped, at least I get to keep my reputation as one of the top ten students. Whoa! Actually, I feel happier than frustrated or angry! Yeah! That's the true power of optimism! Yes! Finally! I've actually gained the trait of optimism! I can finally see the good side of reality and I also knew the real meaning of:
Things aren't always what they seem.
Yes! Things aren't always how they may seem!
Our teacher announced the 3rd quarter top 10 last Friday actually so we already knew our rankings. Of course, the first one sir would announce would be the top 10... which is me. Syempre naman nagulat ang lahat kasi nga biglang baba ko. Pero ako naman tong wierdo na optimistic na bigla din sigaw na "Yes! Nasa top 10 ako!". Of course I said it in a joking manner. But, remember I believe in the saying that jokes are half meant or half true. I'm just a little afraid to show my wierdness and optimism that I was actually happy to know that I'm in top ten. Hehe. Of course, the truth was, I'm happe because of the fact that I'm in top ten. I didn't mind the other hurting facts that I went down 7 notches nor someone took over my rank. For me, past is past and I can't change it. All I can obviously do now is study harder this time and become more determined to achieve my goal. ^_^
Anyway, that's over now. Hmm. Other than that, my day went well anyway. We heard the mass this morning, then went to Jollibee for some outdoor breakfast and bonding. After that, we went to the school already and got our cards. As usual, mom and dad again told me to don't take it too seriously, just enjoy schooling; we're not pressuring you to do this, anyway. Yes I know and sawa na ko. Again, I'm not doing this for you[parents], ok? I'm doing this for myself. And thank you anyway for minding health. Ü
Ok now, I'm feeling kind'a dirty now. Haven't changed my clothes yet and my sis is nagging me for that lyrics of Usher. I have to go now and study later. Tata! ^_^
Always,
Dianne
mood optimistic
listen Usher's inspiring song: Simple Things
read school paper >.
yahn @ 07:33 PM | Ice-peek!, Book Of The Yahn [Add comment/s]
Literary Gifts
Last night I was reading Reader's Digest interview of Avril Lavigne. I just realized that she's some quite your real average teenage girl and also an eye-opener of what really today's teens are.Avril maybe in her twenty's now, but didn't she start to show up in the show business when she was only 16? Yes, I can't believe too that it's been almost 5 years, half a decade in other words, since she's been singing and composing songs. Even though for me she still looks like a teenager, the fact remains that alot of people really don't know her.
Reading that interview, I have learned alot of things from her, like the fact that she is not actually a real punk, it's only the media that blinded her fans of her real girly, nice trait. I've known her as a punk and someone who lived in a broken family, but this article proved me wrong, reading that she grew happily with her complete family with the right religious manners to live by. She confessed that she did drop secondary school for the sake of signing a contract at the age of 16, but that doesn't mean that she's like Britney who doesn't value the importance of education. She values education very much, but confesses that she actually hates school. In the end, she still proved that having a good education is an insurance, and we should never hesitate of finishing college. Actually, she planned on going college if she weren't in the show business. Then, about her being punkish and rebel, those aren't true too. She is just a simple girl who just wants to rock... and I can see it. She isn't a rebel too. She was only labelled a rebel when the media and papparazzis knew that she actually made friends with skaters and cut classes to skateboard when she was in secondary high school. In the interview, she just said that it's normal for girls to rebel in those times because girls are growing and discovering themselves and most of all... girls just wanna have fun! Being a rebel once, I believe her of course. I also experienced the same thing last school year, so no wonder I agree with her.
Now, I like Avril better. Unlike before, I hate her for her songs because I always thought that she was always full of anger and angst and punk. But she also said in the interview that her songs in her second album matured with her. Unlike her first songs which sounded cheezy and immature, this time her songs are full of meaning rather than just feelings. She actually wrote songs with some great composers like Chantal whatever. :D When it came to music, of course it's her way of venting out her feelings and emotions. When you are angry, you get to write more songs since anger is full of mixed emotions. And I agree to that. Also, all of us have our own style of venting out our feelings and frustrations, and hers is through composing. It's really easier to write or compose when you are angry.
Because if you don't write it or share it, it's quite for the health. ^_^Anyway, I've had too much of her now. All I learned in the end was:
First impressions don't always last.
Yeah. Maybe now I hate her, but sooner or later, after being quite reasonable, I'll eventually like Avril. And I did! I just think that this phrase only applies to open-minded persons, don't you think? ^_^
Yesterday, again, as I've told you earlier, we went to the school to get our cards. But this thing ain't about the cards anymore. After getting the cards, we also got the latest and FIRST issue of LCC Waves for this year! Yeah! How pathetic of them! I can't believe that they'll still launch the d*** thing even after everything has been done and said! Wah! >.<
I'm just frustrated actually. I have alot of reasons to be frustrated with this year's publication. Actually, you know what? It's actually getting dul every year! And who to blame? Of course the one who organized it-- no other than Ms. Kat. Duh!
First, the paper's not that nice. It's not white paper and it really looks cheap-- which doesn't fit the real LCC. Get it? >.<
Second, the publication of gradeschool, highschool and even college is in only one single publication! Duh! I mean double duh! It's as if they ran out of paper! Wah!
Then, the worst problem: articles. Some articles didn't show up for no valid reason at all. Some did, but the by-line's wrong. Then, still, some are dull articles. Some aren't that nice anyway and the organizer didn't even mind of reading nor fixing it-- making it more colorful and not dull for the sake of our school's reputation! Ha! No wonder our school has already lower reputation than ever. >.< The organizer is not that good. For me, she's quite lazy already. She didn't even have the initiative of talking about the publication. She isn't really that good publisher or teacher editor in chief because mainly, she obviously has no love for literature or writing, and she isn't that willing to serve in our publication. As if she was just forced to take the job and simply told herself that she can manage just fine with the help of the students. Haller! Aren't the students the ones who should actually depend on her?! Grrr! o_0
Oh my goodness! I'm just reasonably angry when it came to this topic. All I want is to actually write and become a better. Yeah, I did write in the publication and my articles were successfully published. Only that, I still have room here for improvement, and I'm asking for some advice. I need feedbacks so that I'll know whether I should continue writing that way or adapt new and better styles. Oh well. I guess my only clue is on what they changed in my original article. :l
There's a good part too and I've learned something about writing and knew very the well its meaning. Literature. Yeah. At first, some may think immediately of poems. And I'me one of them. I do think immediately of poems and creativity when I hear literature. CREATIVITY... yes. I don't know if I have that which makes me a good writer. All I have known since then was that literature comes from the heart. Meaning, to be a good writer, you must write with feelings and passion. You must like so much what you're writing about. And, emotion is a big factor in creating good stories, poems and writings. When you write poems, you use your heart of course so that the poem would come out nice. Also in writing essays, you don't just rationalize, you also justify your feelings. That's how some essays get so long. They justify their feelings, and we know feelings can't be justified easily using words. Feelings may be simple emotions, but complicated words. ^_^
Anyway, I've learned this lesson from my officer who happen to also write in diaries and in the LCC Waves. Her story actually caught my attention. Not because of it's title. I know. It's really hard to think of a title when you have a really nice story. But anyway, I didn't mind much the title. I focused more on the story which is unfinished. I liked it. Yes. So does some of my friends. Hehe. The story maybe useless since it's incomplete and short-- and somewhat looks like cut-- but it was done creatively... and I happen to be a fan of creative stories. That's why I blog! I wanna open up and see how creative other bloggers are! ^_^ Besides, creative stories aren't complete if they aren't long... ain't they?
Ok, so... enough of this literature thing. I guess I'll have to study. Wah! I don't want to! I wanna blog. Oh well. I studied some of my lessons already so I ain't studying much now. Hehe.
I think I'm off to writing a real nice short story to test my creativity. Gonna post it on tabulas some time right after I finish it. Maybe next week.
i'm>
second,>
mood satisfied
listen A.Keys' Diary
read TBOM
watch nothing since it's test already
yahn @ 07:46 PM | Ice-peek! [Add comment/s]
January 25th, 2005
Career: Path to Your Kind of Life
Career Guidance Orientation, or Career Week in the old times, is once again in our school-- speakers from different fields of profession lecturing us about what mostly to expect in college, sharing with us, students, their experiences as college students and professional, and most of all, advising us on what to do, take and not to, come college time.Our orientation that lasted for almost a whole day taught us alot about college life and professional life. Mrs. Liza together with Ms. Tess, our guidance counsellors who facilitated this orientation, invited speakers with different professions or status in life to share with us their experiences and advices as collegiates and professionals.
The orientation was divided in to three [3] parts, namely: Profession Talk, College Life Sharing, & Vocation Talk.
The first part, Profession Talk, speakers that are already working were invited. Among them are Ms. Gladys Arellano, Mr. Dan Dones, and alot more. All of them are, of course, LCCians ones, except for the new college faculty who graduated in AMA Computer College in Makati.
The first speaker [whose name I forgot!] is currently a brother, meaning he is in the seminary. Me and a couple of my friends actually find him cute. Of course, we automatically sighed knowing his current status in life. He changed that way of our thinking when he actually revealed to us that seminarians are still allowed to have girlfriends since they are not yet in the point of their vocation that they are truly sure to become priests. He is actually 5 years in the seminary and hopes to graduate in 5-7 years. Still, some thought that he's still a brother and not yet ordained in priesthood, so hope was alive again. He encouraged the boys, of course, to join the seminary and become priests. Not only because it is in demand in our religion, but also because based on his experience, seminary life is most likely about personality development. And sharing one by one his crazy experiences, I agree because I have learned that a entering the seminary will teach you to do everything for God. I mean, you just won't wash the dishes or fix the bed just because you feel like doing it. But because you care for God, and you show it to others and in your ways as well. He also told us his experience when he was in our place then. Like most of us, of course he never dreamed of becoming a priest one day. But then, he realized that he was called by God to do this, so he entered the seminary. But it didn't end there. Of course on his first day as a seminarian, he had adjusted difficultly but because of the vocation[vocare in Latin, according to him] and his motivation, he managed to stay until now.
The next speakers were both doctors. Actually, one is technically a doctor but legally not. The other one was a Pre-med grad but still persuing his degree proper[whatever!]. Anyway, the first was my friend's sister who revealed to us that being a doctor is never about wealth, but most likely a vocation. And it's true. Because if you really want to cure the sick, you won't mind the bill, isn't it? The other was a popular alumnus who caught my attention. He shared a nice story about vocation and passion. This was the true story of the PSHS teacher and her 2 students:
PSHS heard of this international competition, and a teacher and 2 students won. Fortunately, Promil and Intel happened to sponsor the 3 and so their transportation to Europe was easy. But then, the Visa was still missing and so they had to go to DFA for a reccomendation. But the people there just ignored them. The teacher, not wanting to waste the precious opportunity, thought of an action and called Intel to get them Visa from the US Embassy. In Europe, making the long story short, the Philippines won, knowing the fact that the government didn't support them nor helped them even a bit. The judges of the contest interviewed the teacher and asked why she's teaching for such a low price when she can earn 10 times as much money as she is currently earning if she were to teach abroad. The teacher answered: if I will leave my job, who will teach these students. Only shows that teaching should be taken as a vocation, rather as a low profession[in our country, that is].
Then, the next was a beatiful, sexy, simple lady, who shared with us her goal in life that she hasn't attained yet: being a housewife after 4 years of work. She is only a year old in her current work, and we obviously saw that she's currently attached.
After that was the most discouraging[for me] speaker. She's Ms. Contemprato who has attained much during her LCCian years, and even in college. But then, working, her experience was really discouraging. She is a civil engineer grad in DLSU Taft, and surely most will automatically think that she won't have a hard time finding a stable job. Wrong. In her application, she learned that companies don't like ladies in the construction site. Quite frustrating though, but it shows only one thing: chauvanistic world. A male-dominant world we still have here. How sad. =( She encouraged male students to take her course, but adviced girls to think twice. That includes me. And so, I have been frustratedly confused.
Then, the new college faculty.
After that the last but not the least psychology graduate and advertising manager speaker. She is a psychologist, so she's one who enjoys talking and relating to people. Just like my friend Coleen, she also enjoys advicing people since her LCC years.
A little break after, that lasted for almost 2 hours. We didn't just sit and ate there, but rather practised our calisthenics for Foundation Week next week.
Coming back around 1pm, the part I loved the most. It was time for College Life Sharing. I can say I loved this part because it is much too memorable-- but also I saw a good-looking, inspiring guy. Wah! :giggles:
The first speaker really caught my attention with his chinito eyes and his profile and current status in life. He's currently a 3rd year BS Chem stud in UPLB who discouraged us to take his course, but actually confessed to us that CHEMISTRY is easy [haha! no joke there!]. He's no other than the late, popular Tristan Sunga. I never thought he was that cute-- my gosh! But anyway, he shared alot of things about life in UPLB. He told us the ups and downs of being a "Skolar ng Bayan" and also his struggle as a college freshman. He had the most to share, by the way. He really was a lot of help for me for he adviced us alot about what to expect in college, most especially professors[teachers in terms of HS], schedule/time management, activities and relationships. He confessed that one trait will never be outdone by any other trait, which is CONFIDENCE. And its true. Because in UP, it is the university of the intelligent, wise ones. If you have CONFIDENCE, no matter how low your grades are, you will always be superior to the shy but intelligent ones. Believe me.
He also shared with us what to do now to succeed tomorrow, which I know already: strive hard now in HS to enjoy college later. Why? Because he proved me that college is just mere review of what you've learned in HS. HS academic is the basic foundation of our knowledge, wherein we'll broaden that knowledge in college.
After him, was 2004 graduate's Carla Bauto, who I saw last year in MUB featuring DLSU Dasmariñas, Cavite. She, together with 2 LCC college students, also shared their experience as college students, even for the fact that they're just sophomore students. Still, I learned alot more from Tristan. ^_^
After that, the last part, the Vocation Talk. It didn't actually made sense to us since I guess we've already heard enough this morning. Other than that, none of us are interested yet in the religious life.
And so, we were dismissed 4pm. But before that, we evaluated the said seminar. Of course I answered it truthfully, with some recommendations, because overall, it was just FAIR. Unlike my ignorant batch-mates, they just checked and checked just for the sake of fakely praising the not-so-good seminar because they didn't take it seriously anyway.
In the end, I've learned alot. Even though I was completely sure of my course, they still had effect on me and made me realize deeply what college and career really is. In conclusion:
College life is a serious, decision-making life. It is the path of what you will become as a person-- whether you will succeed in this world or not. In the end, college is just a preparation to the real world.
mood rejuvenated
listen Alicia Keys
read Philippine Star's Entertainment section
yahn @ 06:38 PM | Ice-peek! [Add comment/s]
January 26th, 2005
Hay... buhay CO...
[Paalala mula sa sumulat: Ang lahat ng mailalathala dito, maging ang pamagat, ay may pinaghanguan na iba pang artikulo. Mangyaring wag mabigla kung makakita kayo ng halos parehong artikulo tungkol naman kay Tristan, sapagkat malamang nabasa ko na rin yon. At isa pa, di ko ito maisusulat kung wala talaga akong inspirasyon. At higit sa lahat, igalang naman ninyo ang policy ko dito: What you see, what you read, when you leave, leave them here. Ok? Yun lang.]Tutut-tutut.
Tumunog na ang alarm clock ko. Oo. Sa mga ganitong panahon, kailangan ko ang tulong ng alarm clock. Di tulad ng dati, 'pag tunog eh hihintayin ko pang tumunog ito ulit. Ngayon di na pwede iyon. As usual, alas-5 ang tunog ng alarm clock ko. Di pwedeng ma-late. Kahit alam na alam ko naman na in just an hour, nasa school na 'ko.
Ang lamig talaga tuwing umaga! Buti na lang long sleeves ang uniform namin. Ay naku! Kailangan kong i-button ang sleeves at i-shine na ang shoes ko. Neat ako dapat lagi bago pumasok: closed sleeves, uniform with logo-patch, white socks, tied-shoes, complete grooming aka boknai, at clean and cut nails. Di tulad noon, pasaway-- laging open sleeves, kung anu-anong kyutiks sa iba't-ibang daliri[anu ba yon?!] at colored socks. Not this time. COA na kasi ako.
COA-- Cadet Officer Aspirant. Oo. Military training. Parang di bagay sa isang sakitin at mahinang-loob na tulad ko 'no? Pero, ano naman ngayon! Wala nang pakialaman! 'Ika nga ni Tristan Sunga[ang idol ko! ^_^]. Nagsimula noong huling linggo ng Hunyo. Sa simula pa lang, nataranta na 'ko ng husto. Ang daming requirements: COCC pin, envelope, pad paper, Pilot ballpens, tickler with matching pare-pareho pa dapat ang hitsura, name plate na pagkalaki-laki di tulad ng dati, at kung anu-ano pang ka-eklatan. Hapon na ng malaman namin ang lahat ng ito. Deretso agad kami sa pinakamalapit na mall-- Pavilion. Tamang-tama! Ang dami namin dung nagkita-kita-- parang reunion. Buti na lang kumpleto Nat'l Bookstore sa lahat ng kailangan namin, daming dep't store na mabibilhan ng white t-shirt, at meron pang 2 photo-shop para sa ID pic.
Ok, COAs na kami. Ang aga kong pumasok, wala pang officers. Yes! Syempre plinano kong lahat ito! Pasok akong maaga para walang ma-side-step-an. Haha! Pero anong gagawin ko? Wala akong kasama. Buti na lang maaga rin si Eka. Kaya lang nagmimisa sya eh. Ok lang. Mabuting bata naman ako eh, di ba? Kaya eto, nagmimisa na rin ako.
Tapos na ang misa, ano na? Labas kami. Hanap kaming tambayan. Dati sa Prayer Room pa ang mass kaya paglabas, nakatambay lang kami sa guard house. Walang military courtesy! Hehe. Dami namin dun makakasalubong na kapwa officer. Andun sina Yam, Joan, Joy, at kung sinu-sino pa. Dun lang kami hanggang sa mag-bell. Kring! Ang tunog na to ay parang musika sa tenga namin. Wala na namang military courtesy! Edi, pwede na kaming magpagala-gala.
Recess na. 20 minutes lang naman ang recess eh. Isa lang ang dahilan 'pag baba ang 1 COA: tumingin ng duty. Minsan meron, madalas wala. Liban pa dun, yung iba naman magpapasa lang ng assignment. O di kaya gustong mapansin sa pamamagitan ng simpleng side step. Swerte na nga namin hanggang side step na lang kami. Eh, dati-rati kailangan pang sumaludo! Naku naman!
Tapos, klase ulet. Kring! Lunch na! Lahat ng COA, pagkarinig ng bell, labasan na. Nasa iisang lugar makikita: CR. Sigawan, batuhan, hiraman-- lahat nag-aayos lang naman ng grooming. Pati nga lalaki nasa girls' CR na eh. Wala ata kasing kwenta yung kanila. =P
Tamang-tama. Mahaba-haba lunch-- 40 mminutes. Nagbabaan na mga COA. Yung mga nagtatago, nagpaiwan sa library. Yung iba pa-kunwaring duty daw sa HS building.Naku naman!
Pero di naman ako ganun eh! Kasabay ko lagi si Jenelle bumaba. Most of my COA days, sya kasabay ko. May sarili kasi syang tropa habang ako independent[kahit may ilang friends lang =P]. Confident sya. Kaya nadadala ako, ako na rin confident. Di nya masyadong enjoy mapag-tripan. Pero ako, kabado talaga. Sa kinalaunan, kinagisnan na rin.
Kring! Ay! Bell na! Yan tuloy, di man lang ako natawag. At least andyan si G. Cruz at Bb. Rodriguez. Active officers namin yan eh. Buti kahit ilang patanong-tanong at assignment binigyan nila ako. What!? 5 pages back-to-back? Oh em gee! Buti na lang sa Monday pa ipapasa. Naku! Friday nga pala ngayon! May hanay! Wah! Late na naman ang uwi. =(
Sa classroom, may heater daw[sabi nung English teacher namin]. Ang ingay, ang gulo-- talaga ngang para kaming nasa palengke! Kanya-kanyang dakdak at galaw! Yung isa nasa harapan, ang presidente, syempre nagpapatahimik. Yung isa naman, COA din, may kung anong tinatanong sa amin. Maya-maya may papel nang nakalapag sa desk ko. "Sinong favorite officer mo?". Isa sa mararami nilang survey. Naku naman! Edi, for the sake of brotherhood and camaraderie, sagot naman agad. Yung isa pa, nagpa-praktis sa kapwa COA. Magre-report kasi. Tapos yung katapat naman niya nagpraktis din-- sasaludo naman mamaya sa hanay. Sali ako! =)
THE-- last subject. Yes! Buti na lang madali naming nauuto yon, edi maluwag ang time namin para mag-ayos sa hanay. By 3:30 nagbibihis na kami, 3:50 nasa open field na kami-- nakasunod sa 3 pinakamatataas na mga Wing Staff, ready na tumakbo. COAs Form! Hudyat ng takbuhan, karerahan. Una-unahan matatangkad. Malas ko pandak ako, wala akong pagkakataong magawa yon. Tsk, tsk!
Tapos na ang hanay. Nakakapagod! Sakit sa likod! Lagi pa naman naka-darap. Yun ang term nila. Pag super straight body, darap o attention. Kailangan magsanay!
Pagkauwi, kailangan na magpahinga kasi marami pang gagawin: aral sa Chem, assignment sa Trigo, kay Bb. Rodriguez at G. Cruz, kumain, matulog. Nababaliw na 'ko! Ika nga, time management lang yan. Lagi tuloy akong puyat. Bwiset!
Tapos na ang weekend, Monday na naman. Parang ayaw ko nang pumasok! Pero, anong magagawa, di lang naman sa CO umiikot mundo ko eh. Aral, kain, side step, hanay, uwi, tapos aral, kain, side step, hanay, uwi, tapos yun ulit. Dito umikot ang buhay ng isang COA na tulad ko. Nasanay na kami. Wala nang nagbago. Liban nung Pre-encampment.
January noon. Di tulad ng nakagisnan, sa January naganap ang decision making period-- ang Pre-encampment. Sabi nila, walang saysay ang pagiging COA mo kung di ka a-attend, di makukumpleto training mo. Sabi pa nila kailangan maghandang mabuti. Syempre naman! Nang actual pre-encampment, tatlong damdamin lang naramdaman namin: taranta, pagod, at higit sa lahat, SAYA.
Pebrero na. Matapos ang pre-encampment, medyo bumalik sa normal ang COA life namin: aral, kain, side step, trip, hanay, uwi. Isa na lang ang tanong, ma-terminate kaya ako?
Hay nako. Kahit anong takot pa nila sa akin, ma-terminate man ako o hindi, wala na siguro akong pakialam. Maging officer man o hindi, tuloy ang buhay-- walang iyakan. Gaya nga ng sabi nila: don't cry for those who don't deserve your tears. Tama.
Sa paglubog ng araw, at pagsigaw namin ng "Ginoo, salamat po, ginoo!" matapos palansagin, isa lang naman ang mahalaga:
Ma-develop ang aming self-discipline.
mood thankful
yahn @ 07:31 PM | Ice-peek! [2 comment/s]
January 31st, 2005
What In The World Am I Here For?
What in the world am I here for?That is the biggest question one could come face to face with. I'm not exaggerating here of course. I'm just actually wondering-- for sometimes, I confess that I really feel like ending my life right here, right now. You know, suicidal. Now I know how some popular faces like Miriam Defensor's son and Julia Clarette felt.
But I believe mine is a completely different story. As you noticed, the examples I've just mentioned above are both hopeless-- first is a hopeless intelligent while the other is a hopeless romantic. My story is simply this: I am not hopeless or anything because I almost have everything that I could ask for... and that's actually the big problem. I can't ask for more. It's as if my life here on earth is fulfilled already-- ready to give up anytime since nothing more would matter anyway.
But then again, as I've mentioned that I feel like my life is fulfilled already, I just thought to myself: am I, myself, feel fulfilled already? Am I really ready to take the risk and this one chance of mine to live, my life? Is it really over-- just like that?
No. Never! God didn't create us out of nothing for nothing. He created us out of love to simply love one another. I believe LOVE is our main purpose in living this unexpected life of ours. Why LOVE? Since it is simply put: WE ARE CREATED OUT OF LOVE... all other good traits that we should ponder and treasure within us-- all of them are rooted to LOVE. As the song put it: All we need is love. And so, we all live in love.
Last year, when I was a sophomore, I really thought that I was hopeless-- but not yet suicidal. I just thought that life is all about fun... no suffering at all, just play the game and have fun. But I also learned later on that each and every one of us has our own definition of fun. Fun isn't always about doing malicious things and f***ing up. For others its about doing what you enjoy doing. Still, for some it's simply sitting or lying in one quite corner, meditating and discovering one's inner self. When I was a Freshman, I defined fun as being with my friends. Last year, I defined it as doing extreme things and going out of your comfort level, exploring new things and discovering yourself. This year, I learned that fun is about doing what you really love to do, and what you're good at. Since grade 6 I loved Math. And so today, fun for me is solving head-aching Math problems-- and still want more! Actually, I really feel good about myself when I solve a really hard problem. especially when even the topnotcher can't answer the problem. It really insipires me to do better in that field, and so I dreamed of becoming a civil enggineer-- application of Math in my life and work. ^_^
Just before I wrote this one, I read on the newspaper Rod Nepomuceno's column that was about "everyone's calling". I learned that he was just learning his own calling. You know, how we should serve our God and still live happily. All of us are called of course. But then again, we all have different callings. Each one has his own unique calling. What most just didn't know is what their calling was all about. But then again, the calling was there all the time, one just couldn't figure out how to response on the calling. Get it?
And so, the big question is up again: what is my purpose in this world? The real purpose of each and every one of us is to answer our own unique calling. Of course when we answer a call, we automatically think to ourselves that it's about convents and holy things. But it ain't actually. Everyone is unique, remember? And so the calling is unique as well with different people. One maybe called to be a nun, but unfortunately refuses so she joins the YFC or some other Christian organization. Another maybe called to preach God's good news, and so he became a teacher rather than a priest because he thinks he's quite too old for such seminary. Still, another is called to share his/her spiritual experiences so s/he becomes a writer. You know what I mean?
Anyway, I have my own calling. Sometimes even think that I am called to be religious. But then again, I don't think so. Because[not to boast] why did God ever give me such wisdom and enthusiasm if he wants me to be with Him? Don't you think? It's just that, I'm not too sure of my own calling. After all, planning is just a step toward the success of a calling.That is the purpose of our lives: SUCCESSFULLY ANSWER OUR OWN CALLING. Actually, we might not know it, but we are doing it already. Sometimes, we don't realize that the calling is just within us, we just didn't appreciate nor accept it. Maybe too, we know it already but we tend to not do it anyway.
In the end, we should just be thankful that we are all created by one God[with different names, I guess]-- for He has given us this life to enjoy all other things He created as well. No matter how young or old you are, it's always the right time to do something now for your calling... 'cause you might never know your time limit for such purpose in life. You don't want to waste 20 or even 50 years of your life doing nothing for your own purpose in this world, now do you? ^_^
mood melancholy
listen SpongeCola, Avril
read Hardy Boys Collection[yuck!] :yuck:
watch Save the Last Dance for Me :P
yahn @ 07:21 PM | Ice-peek! [5 comment/s]