Entries for May, 2005
May 6th, 2005
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Mom!Well, hello?! How are you? I'm sure, I know you're doing fine. By the way, before I forget anything else, I wanna greet you first a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! It's your day today, almost two decades of faithful, unending tender loving care.
Uhm, I don't know if I should really tell you this, but I think it would be best for both me and you to let you know this. I LOVE YOU. That's true, and never doubt it. Though sometimes, I find it really hard to both say it and show it to you. But remember this, no words can ever express how much I love someone who loves me undeniably and freely like this. Even if sometimes I find it hard to resist the temptation of hating you. Well, actually, I don't hate you, but I just get easily annoyed when you're talking too much nonsense. To tell you the truth, I'm annoyed at your talkativeness when I'm not in the mood, like when I'm doing something that I'm so much absorbed. Well, I can't blame you for such trait--I'm pretty sure it's just naturally you and you're just human too like me. In the end, no matter how irritated I get at your talkativeness, this love that I have for you never fails to understand you.
I am heartily [what a term!] sorry for having offended you at times. I'm sorry I keep you irritated and angry at our foul attitudes of not listening to you. I'm sorry [though I know in my heart that you've forgiven us all along for so long] for my mistakes. I am sorry. I can never promise you that I won't do them ever again--because I'm sure at some point I can do them again. But I assure you, I promise I will learn from them. Promise!
Thank you for loving us undoubtedly. Thank you!
Since it's mother's day, I wanna thank you for all the things you've done for me. Thanks a lot for answering my confusing and weird questions about life, though sometimes you fail to satisfy my curiosity maybe because the things that I seek answer of are really deep. Thank you for being there for me whether I needed you badly or not--for caring and being too much concerned about me, to the point that you almost irritate me again because you ask lots of questions like a doctor [I'm just sorry to tell you that it's just that I doubt your remedies *tsktsk*]. Anyway, thank you still for standing by my side even when I don't want you to, for staying beside me and waiting for me to need you--thank you for that. Thank you for getting mad at us sometimes just to discipline us--and eventually apologizing if it has been your fault all along. Thank you for spending your time late at night for staying with me and my sister, bonding with us, talking almost much about nothing at all, sharing with us memories that make us laugh and cry at the same time. And thank you most of all for appreciating us--for allowing us to live happily and prosperously in this world, for accepting our flaws and letting us freely improve on our strenghts, and also for having the courage to tell us in an unoffening way our weaknesses and try to correct them. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Oh, I'm not making much sense now! I'm gonna end this *sniff* *sniff* Just joking!
Thank you for taking time to read this little note of mine that I wrote in the middle of nowhere. I hope it made your day. Adios! Oh, I mean, no goodbye's... just see you soon!I LOVE YOU MOM! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Your favorite baby,
~Yahn
mood boohoo! :(
listen Hoobanstank's The Reason
read none, not in the mood
watch nada.. hate TV series! :-*
yahn @ 10:00 PM [5 comment/s]
Yahn's Random Thoughts
Hello world!I'm blogging here again. Well, I've been out for a while and you know that well. Hmm.
Last night I had a quite strange dream again. That's it! It's enough! I've dreamed of him again! Well, I'm not talking about HIM! I rather dreamed of him--my past crush--whom I dreamed of too when I still liked him [meaning I don't like him now
]. Oh well. It's not that sweet--unlike the past dream about him. It's nothing much, I just dreamed of him and it's like a normal, ordinary day that my friends would nag me whenever they see him while I'm with them. Ah, whatever!Hmm, dreaming of that, I just thought of him again. Yeah, I guess I'm quite over him already. Uhm, I still like him [the present one], I miss him occasionally when I eventually think of him, and I'm still not sure if I love him. I'm sure of myself, I can't love someone I've just known for only two months! Oh well, knowing that he loves me too--well, I might love him eventually.
Oh, love, why do you have to be this complicated??
listen Bad Habit - Destiny's Child
yahn @ 10:00 PM | Book Of The Yahn [2 comment/s]
May 8th, 2005
Meteor Rain...
No, this has nothing to do with the famous Chinito cuties from our neighbor country, Taiwan--F4.No, it's not also about their little, cute, Shan Chai--or however you may want to spell her Chinese character name.
And, no, I'm not announcing the big come-back of these people in ABS-CBN--their more popularly known show as the pheonomenal hit, Meteor Garden.
Yesterday, we went to Batangas for our annual business-rest vacation. I was rather really excited the other night because for the first time this summer, I'm going to spend once again a nice vacation with my friends and tennis-colleagues [right?!]. For the first time of my summer this year, I'm about to truly enjoy real summer vacation with my friends and family. I've always longed for such an occasion. It's not like every month we get together like this, and I really appreciate having some other friends, other than my good schoolmates that my family isn't that close with. With them, they're still my friends and their family is also our family's friend. Good thing we got along one another, huh!
Anyway, that's what I thought first thing in the morning, but then my excitement just slowly faded away until nothing was left except boredom and loneliness. We woke up as early as five in the morning only to find out by nine that we'll go first to our annual reunion in the other part of Batangas before actually going our annual summer beach trip. I never even knew that we had an annual get-together in our province! We went there anyway, and to my dismay, I don't recognize a single face there, except my grandma, my own family and an aunt and an uncle or two! My goodness! After lunch, we were still stuck in the reunion that annoyed a bit my mom for she realized we were already running late. As I was saying, after lunch, a little program was held wherein we'll finally know who's who and how come we're connected. And just as I thought, we're not really that closely connected! C'mon! Look, good thing my cousin--as in my real cousin whom I used to be with even when we were still kids--was there, two brothers and a sister of my father--which means they're my aunt and uncles--and of course, my grandma. And everyone else? Well, they're merely just my grandma's cousin's kids and their families. Yeah, that's how "closely" related we were there! Duh! And they've just planned another one next year, since they said it's annual! Oh my!
By three, in the middle of the hot, humid summer climate, we were finally on our way to our annual summer beach trip. Yippee! Yes, now I can go freshen up, loosen up, splash cold water through my face, and have a really good time! Yoohoo!
But, unfotunately, we weren't complete. The girls and boys aren't all there. Two of the girls were absent, one because of a tournament [Good luck, again, by the way!] while the other one is just because her father has some sort of work or something--all I know is that he's too busy! Hay, it's really bad. But, oh well, Things shouldn't get any worse! ^_^ The fun must go on!
As we'd usually do, we swam through the rocky, coral-reefy, fish-pond sea by five--of course when the sun is setting so our true colors won't show off!
We bathed all the way until it was really dark--with our parents and everyone else we were with, except the kids, of course, since they're time's up for they've already spent their whole day, swimming through the deep, blue, high-tide, salty sea! And then we did what we'd love to do with videoke-karaoke's around--sing our lungs out til dawn! Oh, and with matching a couple of game of cards and the usual "drinks". 
Last night, t'was ___ ____. As the night fell deeply, the twinkling stars finally covered the lonesome velvety dark sky with their glittery effect and wonder and amazement to me. As we, me and my friends, went out to get some air and talk more, privately, I suddenly lookep up upon the star-covered velvet sky and wondered: I wonder why that night in Laiya, we've come to encounter a lot [as in a lot!] of meteors, while back in our place, or even here, it feels like a dream forever to even get a glimpse of just one meteor?* Hmmm. It really bothered me even just before I slipped under the blanket in our cottage. I even asked this my friend, in which surely she didn't understand much! Hmmm.
I can still remember what my other friend, who was absent then, told us that night in Laiya--which actually wasn't that weird or anything--but really struck me: We see a lot of meteors, but sometimes, maybe the others we see or get a glimpse of aren't meant for us, but rather was meant for someone else who also saw them.** Yeah, in real life, that's sometimes how it goes. It struck me because I really thought that one of meteors I've wished upon, maybe just one of them, was meant just for me. Well, I don't hear sayings or any do's and dont's of seeing a meteor other than wishing when you see one, so I'm gonna tell you what I've wished that night.
That night happened actually the summer last year, after being a wild, liberated, ugly sophomore, and before a new, improved and better junior. That time, I've already finished reading my favorite book that changed me totally. I've also had in mind my future like what I'll be up to for the upcoming year and beyond that. And so, I had this goal in my mind and heart that I'll take the top spot from the usual topnotchers of our class, improve my studies for better chances of entering UP, become an officer for extra grade and to keep myself fit and also to boost more my confidence, and lastly, I desperately wanted to fall in love.
On that night, these goals never left my conciousness until I've spotted lots of meteors for each of my goals. On my right, as I lay down with my friends and talk with them--looking straight up, gazing through the black, velvet, peaceful sky, waiting in vain for just one single meteor to dash through the dark, star-filled above--I spotted one shimmering star, line through in the middle of the sky. A couple of seconds upon seeing it, another on my left showed up quickly again, as if it's the continuation of the one we saw on the right. Just after seeing it, my friend tapped me again 'cause she just saw another one up, in front of us. And the same thing went on and on, seeing meteoritic stars line through the night sky on and off around us.
And in one of them which I spotted, which I don't know if my friends saw it too for I didn't tell them I saw it, I wished... I wish I'd fall in love this year. It popped in the midst of my star-gazing and didn't really much actually meant the wish. Just when I saw another one, as if I had just awaken from sleep, and with eyes wide open wished for the success of all my goals.
Now, the success of my goals for this year was really my target. I've never wished and prayed to God anything but that. I've promised, since I thought of those goals, to myself that I will first focus my attention to my success, and later on my love life. And as I realized today, I'm going to be succesful in myself--in my career--first, and if all's fine--school, family, friends, God--then I'm up and ready to add another priority in my life--LOVE.
I've never thought that my goals really did come true. Not as exactly as I've envisioned it, but at least something happened. And the best part that really takes my thoughts to wonder was that I really think HE's the one I've wished for--though asking, I just thought that maybe he's the one sent for me that I've asked for: I desperately wanted to fall in love. Neither he'll just be there to teach me what I should be learning, nor show me what I'm missing, I'm just simply glad for that night.
^_^ Now I remember, he's actually part of my goals, remember?[take the top spot from the usual topnotchers of our class, improve my studies for better chances of entering UP, become an officer for extra grade and to keep myself fit and also to boost more my confidence, and lastly, I desperately wanted to fall in love]
In the end, I just hope he's for real... ^_^
I've heard on the radio this nice saying that really struck me just on our way to annual summer beach trip...
Success is not all about achieving your goal, but rather on what you've sacrificed and done to achieve it.
Now, isn't that nice to remember? Yeah, I can still say I'm very successful for even if I didn't really achieve my goal, I'm happy and really contented that I did all that--upon looking back the past school year that just hit me--and I've aimed something I never really thought I can achieve through determination and imagination!
But I'm not changing my motto as I see this one in my yearbook...
Be happy, but never be contented.
By the way, to all moms out there,
[In exactly as I thought...
*Nagtataka talaga ako ba't nung gabing yun sa Laiya ang dami-daming naming na-wish-an na meteos, tapos dun sa atin kahit ngayon dito, walang wala? Ba't kaya? (I was already thinking then that one of 'em was really meant for me *giggles*)
**Alam niyo, yung iba natin sigurong nakikita na sobrang layo ay di para sa'tin, para naman sa iba. ^_^]
mood rejuvenated
listen Eraserhead's With A Smile
yahn @ 08:10 PM | Ice-peek!, Book Of The Yahn [Add comment/s]
May 11th, 2005
Another One...
Duh!Last night--or should I aptly say just this morning since I usually sleep early morning like one a.m. [duh! whatever!]--I had another strange dream. It's like the second or maybe even the third time I've had a really strange dream that really struck me this summer! Well, here it goes.
Dreams, strange as they may usually be since they're just dreams, like this one I've had that struck me most is that they have meaning to me. Do you get me? I mean, this dream is like a sign to me, and in which I do hope it's a good sign. Well, actually, these strange dreams I'm having are like my clues to what I should expect for the upcoming school year. I don't know why. Sounds quite ridiculous, but this third dream I've just had is also, again, quite realistic just like my past two dreams about him. Yeah, about him again, huh?
Well, it's like this. I was a senior already and the only friend I recognized truly which made it realistic was MM. Yeah, not Jenelle, nor my bhez. Anyway, we were in the school and stuffs happened that ain't matter much to me when I woke up, like when we were so exhausted doing an overnight project in Physics--well, I can't remember actually what the heck branch of science we were studying, although I remember my Chemistry teacher to be the teacher asking us to pass a big assignment the following day! Duh!--and going to class and listening to stupid lectures and blah blahs of teachers.
The strange part is this, there were two guys whom I've never met [yet, since I wish I meet 'em or just someone like them] in my whole life. One was a black, which I recall had a resemblance with the guy in the movie Save the Last Dance--I call him Taylor and I don't know why that's his name [whatever! It's just a dream anyway
]--while the other had a resemblance when it came to his kimpee hair with Warren of the Streetboys--if you still remember him--which I ended up naming Warren when I woke up.Feeling absurd and dizzy upon waking up, I recalled the dream I've just had and I happen to recall only the two of 'em. It's really a good thing I even remembered MM in my dream 'cause although she's was just with me and she never spoke a word to me, it helped to know that this dream was quite realistic. Anyway, the guy I called Warren, I actually linked him to my crush. Yeah, pathetic huh? Then this black Taylor, he was like my closest friend. I don't know, but it seems in my dream that I fell for this black guy 'cause he's my good friend, but in the end, upon seeing this Warren--actually, to tell you truthfully, whom I was looking for was my crush and not Warren, though upon seeing Warren, it's as if he's really the one I was searching for 'cause when I spotte him, I stopped looking for HIM! Duh!! :O--I never bothered to look for my crush in my dream and it seems to me that this Warren is like the resemblance of my crush. What do we know, he might be like Warren in my dream! Duh! But, recalling my dream now, I never actually had a nice look or even the closest glimpse of Warren's face and features--it's like my eyes were quite blurred in my dream or my memory automatically deletes such sights in dreams like these upon waking up. Oh well, anyway, in the end, so I fell for this black guy but in the end I ended up keeping my close friendship with him instead, and started to like again Warren. I realized to myself that among these two, I really wanna keep 'em both, but then maybe I can keep the other as my friend, while the other as my love. Yeah, so I felt that I really liked this Warren, while I love so much my friend Taylor.
What a dream!!! Well, that's all that happened. Wish the upcoming school year will be a real blast for my love life, isn't it? Anyway, I hope these strange dreams I'm having are good signs. *sigh*
mood weird
listen Kitchie's Same Ground
yahn @ 12:50 PM | Book Of The Yahn [Add comment/s]
May 12th, 2005
Confused
Dear Diary,My right thumb sucks. I thought this morning that I won't type nicely because it hurt so much yesterday. But I was wrong; it did itch a few times, especially when I took my bath, but it was really nothing. What's up with one of my little fingers?
Well, I hurt my thumb from playing tennis yesterday afternoon. I pushed through my limits and I have also been ignorant of the pain, and so this is the price I have to play. Unfortunately for me, I can't play much tennis for the next few days. Poor me.
For the past few days, I've been meaning to write this thing down bugging my mind. My mind suddenly made slight shift which confused me and my goals in life. Now, I don't know what course to take in college! Damn!
I've been thinking about the course that I've been meaning to take for college most likely in case I pass the UPCAT. I thought of civil engineering and if that's the work that I would really want. But then, I thought of my health and I regret remembering so well that I have low resistance to germs and sickness and I am quite allergic to dust or anything quite powdery. So, I thought that maybe I'd shift courses and take accounting instead, just like my father. It's really nice, though, but I'm just not sure about it since I don't know what's really up to that accounting. Then I saw this series and recalled my love for writing. As this came through my mind, all other that supported my like for writing also came and completed a nice picture: maybe I'd like to write in a magazine, newspaper or book, or maybe I can be broadcast journalist! Hey! So, now I thought I'd be a Mass Comm graduate! Haha!
But still, just like accounting, I didn't like the thought of graduating from a course that's in-demand. Do you get me? It's obvious that the course is in demand and it's proven with lots of unemployed graduates from such course. And I don't wanna be part of the crowd who usually graduated an in-demand course. Just like care-giving and nursing. Duh! As if such courses are nice to take in just about any school! With such an in-demand course, any school didn't hesitate to offer those courses to get more and more students. First they're test-free, second they're also "easy" to learn--just as long as you have perseverance and determination to earn green bucks. Duh! Look at what money can do! XP
Anyway, I'm still confused if I really want to graduate civil engineering. Then I remembered my determination. It doesn't really matter if I have weak resistance. Or even if I don't have this or that or I lack this or that. I can certainly work that out. Sure! With such perseverance and determination, I can attain my goal and be successful in my own pace! If only determination or perseverance is needed, why not use it already for what I want! Duh! Haha! Now, I'm starting to get the hang of it and wake up to the truth!
I've just realized upon thinking such things over about my success. Now I've learned that there are only two things that I would really want to attain for myself in this life of mine: a man of my own and success in my work. That's all that I'm asking of. Yeah, maybe I'd want a family of my own and a fortune to spend on my clothes and hi-tech gadgets, but then again, I'm just simple and I always knew that money would be nothing if it ain't for position. Really, money doesn't matter much to me; what really matters most to me is that I'm on top. Well, which is quite frustrating and scary. But, let me use this attitude of mine in a positive way now, don't you think? No matter how aggressive I may get, I always play fair and do all my best. As told, it's not the winning that counts, but how you fought. ^_~
I'm really glad I'm me and that I'm really quite observant. ^_^ Now I know why I love Samurai X--it's just too mysterious, intelligent, wise, add up to that Kenshin! XD
~Yahn
mood working
listen Mojofly's Mata
yahn @ 05:55 PM | Book Of The Yahn [2 comment/s]
May 19th, 2005
Movie Review: The Bourne Identity
// The Cast //Matt Damon[Jason Bourne], Franka Potente[Marie], Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles
// The Setting //
Filmed mostly in Paris, France, this action flick took place for almost only three days! Now that's what you call some action! ^_~
// The Plot //
Found almost dead floating in the wide ocean of Mediterrenean in the midst of a raging storm, Jason Bourne was fortunately rescued by some men headed to Europe where he was taken care of until they landed to Germany. Waking up, he can't remember anything--an amnesia. He didn't know where he's actually headed, why he knows self-defense so well and can predict certain circumstances and more, and why he was shot at the back with two bullets.
On the search to find his own self, he met Marie in the embassy having a hard time getting a visa because of lack of money. He offered some money and they rode together to Paris to discover who Jason Bourne really is. Unfortunately, the agency he is working for already had a hitch on him too, and were on the look to kill him.
// The Thrill //
Not knowing who's trying to kill him, nor who's he running away from, he eventually unfolds the clues to his true identity one by one until he finally came face to face with his boss who's been trying to kill him--telling him the truth, making him remember the fatality that happened almost three weeks ago.
Jason Bourne was an assasin sent to kill Wombosi--for this man was a threath to his agency. He obviously failed, and now his agency had to clean up the mess Bourne was supposed to have cleaned up weeks ago.
// The Ending //
Realizing the truth, Bourne decided to leave his past alone and threathened his boss to stop following him 'cause he want to stop it then. He went back to live with Marie--who was fortunately successful enough with her bicycle business because of enough money that Bourne left her with before he killed his boss.
// The Verdict //
The movie was really good! I like it so much--the twist of the story, the action, the thrill, almost everything! This flick will really get your adrenaline pumping, will get you out of your seat for excitement, and will definitely satisfy your hunger for suspense! Though rated PG 13 for explicit language and violence, this movie is a sure hit for those action-lovers out there! ^_~
// Extras //
Genres: Action/Adventure and Thriller
Running Time: 1 hr. 36 min.
Release Date: June 14, 2002 Nationwide.
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for violence and some language.
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Website: The Bourne Identity
Directed by: Doug Liman
Produced by: Doug Liman, Patrick Crowley, Richard N. Gladstein
Based on the Novel by: Robert Ludlum
yahn @ 09:16 PM [Add comment/s]
May 28th, 2005
Not Just Love...
Ladies, take a break!And be not fooled by some man who makes you blush
With his red, thorny roses and sweet-superficial "I love you".
Fall for the man who is sincere enough
to assist you in your life,
"I will take care of you"
Go to the place you love the most
and see for yourself if he can assure you,
"I will follow you wherever you go"
Hold on to someone
who is intellectual enough to talk with you,
"I understand you"
Never let go of that someone
believing his words and deeds all these years, reminding you
"I will not let go of you"
Do not be alarmed, though,
if one day he realizes that he had to leave, for he will always wipe your tears, comforting you with
"I will be back"
And most of all,
have faith in him when he promises you
"I will protect you"
-yAhn ^___^ [I'm back!
]yahn @ 03:11 PM | Ice-peek! [2 comment/s]
Rainbow
Sitting alone in this hard-broken chair that can snap off any minute, but will never because of the large, old, worn-out hardened pillow over it, and writing my thoughts of straight from my brainwaves down to the tip of my fingers to our computer keyboard, fast-forward to the most amazing thing ever invented or created by net freaks out there, the blog-world. Listening to some sentimental Filipino rap music that I've learned only now, looking dirty and lonesome as ever, and writing mushy poems and love letters and writings unusually, these and more signs and symptoms of one of the most undefined thing in the world--which is love--are far from the reflection of what I really am feeling inside.Before leaving for absence in the blogging world, I have played tennis one rainy afternoon that made me think so much. The rain was so hard that I thought to myself while playing with the instructor [as I usually did, because I never really stopped thinking whether I was doing something or not] I can hardly hear myself thinking now, because of the heavy rain. What was I thinking? Yes, I thought it because I believe it to be true anyway, that I can really hardly hear myself thinking. It's as if the raindrops falling from the rooftop of the covered court are just a hard as small pebbles, thrown above us by the angry Gods and Goddesses of Greek mythology, revenging their sweet Mother Nature for whatever mankind has damaged [as TV Patrol suggested last night, 05.27.05] and caused pain for. Everybody will pay for it in some way or another, the Madame astrologer warned. And the kids have the most to pay, unfortunately. But why the most innocent ones? No. No one is ever innocent for the responsibility bestowed upon each and every man of all gender and age. No one can ever excuse himself of the damage he may not have caused, but he could've prevented. No one could escape.
But, why the children? It is because of their innocence. As the old cliché goes, the innocents will have to pay the price. Unfair, yet serves the real unjust right. Children have been uneducated of their responsibility as care-takers of nature. If in their childhood they are not aware of what is happening around, how much more when they realize more shocking truths? How can they understand and solve the reigning problem of the source of life of the dying world if they have never ever heard of the increasing conflict. At least, even if kids can not comprehend yet what you tell him/her, the more important thing is that he/she is informed, aware--and not ignorant. In today's world, only babies and dead people who can not comprehend the world are the only ones considered innocent. The rest who has not yet, can not, and chose not to understand are all ignorant.
After a quite exhausting play of tennis in the hot-ventilated covered court, I went home with my mom. But the rain hasn't stopped yet. It seemed that for the whole hour I have played tennis, no matter how hard nor angry the rain fell from the skies, or how loud the raindrops made noise to make me deaf, it never stopped my curious mind off wandering different worlds that I still want to uncover for myself. By the time I got home, I rested casually in our sofa in our sala, watched TV after taking off whatever should be taken off our bodies--dirt. For hours, I have randomly watched TV with my sister who has always held the remote control every time she was in the house--particularly in the sala. Different TV shows in which some are interesting, funny, boring, and even scandalous. But none of them caught my attention--and brought my mind to a different dimension I already was.
By midnight, it was quiet and lonesome already. The rain has stopped finally. I thought to myself. But it was neither that cold nor that hot to tell that the thick clouds have disappeared in the heavens. Lying in my soft, thick bedding, I held my right ear with two right fingers. It was a sign. I was thinking deeply. As I've always did. I pinched my ears harder and harder until I was too tired to even hold them. Then I opened my eyes. Realizing I can still open them wide, without whining that neither my eyes nor my body is tired enough to get out of bed, I got up silently to our computer--my last resort. I opened it. But I didn't write. I just thought that I'd be too noisy to do that. And besides, I know for myself that I never blog or internet at such hour. I just don't. I can surf the net from as early as six in the morning, to as late as eleven in the evening, but I assure you that I never push through my limits and connect to the net in the wee hours of midnight down to the early dawn. It is a principle, I guess.
I clicked off the computer and turned to bed for a new day. But I still can't keep my fingers off my ears! What was I thinking? I can't tell. Until I just realized myself controlling my fingers by holding both hands together. And waking up oily, hot in the midst of noon.
It is noon! But... there's still no sunshine. It is hot. But no sun is radiating heat. The blue sky is still covered with thick, pop-corn shaped clouds. I also then realized the heavy burden I've had in my back that I have forgotten to leave in the room--a sign of the most common illness I've always had, the common cold. I wasn't yet sniffing, but I was already dead-tired of nothing. I can still hold myself up, but my body aches. I lied down on our long sofa that serves as a bed, and watched TV with healthy people around me. I have not chosen to stand up because I might just push my limits and eventually break down. So I was in some sort of vacation--only that I have to lie down while the sun isn't shining down on me, and instead the rain is falling harder and faster at the same time, reminding us of the revenge Mother Nature wants us all man kind to pay. This lasted for three days. And today, my health feels better now, but the clouds on the contrary are not yet.
So that's what I have been wondering about! There's a rainbow always after the rain..., is what the song in my head always tells me. I have wondered why I haven't seen the rainbow yet after so many days. And now I've finally found out for myself. The rain is not over yet. And so, I still have to wait a little longer until the clouds outside clear up.
But wait! Doesn't this rainy weather signify something? Yes. Usually the rain symbolize the problems in a man's life. Like the hard hit of the raindrops I heard in the tennis court for the past few days. The rain may sometimes be just as hard and noisy as the one I've experienced these past few days in the covered court, or even as quiet and peaceful as the one that happened the other day. Problems may come really hard, or sometimes even "just right", as the text quote reiterates. But after the rain, after forty days and forty nights of nonstop thunderstorm, didn't Moses and his family see the proof of God's new beginning? They saw a beautiful rainbow, signifying that there's still more to come--that more which is better--or even if it has ended, there will always be a new beginning. In real life, our journey will never end not until we are satisfied. So, no one has ever the right to take his own life.
Lesson learned? Even if it rains so hard, with matching frightening thunders and flashing lighnings, just keep in mind what better things you'll see in the end--a rainbow.
Have you ever wondered, why when we open classes, it always rain?
A blessing, I suppose.
yahn @ 03:12 PM | Ice-peek! [Add comment/s]
May 30th, 2005
The Writer
Who is the writer? I asked myself. What are the makings of a real writer in heart? I question my curious mind. And watching movie, I have found answers.Last week, I saw this nice film titled Prozac Nation starring Christina Ricci. It was about an ordinary, college, problematic girl [Christina Ricci] who definitely has a hard time sleeping at night, doesn't know what she thinks she is doing, and is unaware that she is not just hurting herself, but also other people. So, her friends and the people around her just wanted to help her, that's why she was sent to a psychologist--she was given therapy and pills to calm her down, casually. But she learns in the end that if she really wanted to make things straight, she shouldn't depend on the pills--or else she just might find herself addicted to them. And so, she breaks lose to her psychologist and withdrawed drinking her prescribed pills and continued with her normal life--writing.
A commendable movie, I might add, I assure you that it's not just your ordinary teenage flick about the girl-who-thinks-she's-different. All those out there who are quite insomiac, I thought you might want to see yourself and tell yourself to do better things instead of crumpling your bed sheets and move around helplessly in your bed at night--trying so hard to get your much-needed sleep.
Anyway, so the girl here is a writer. And so, it gave me an idea of what a real writer would posses. I wouldn't say that this should be your basis, but I guess I hope it would help people out there to be aware that they posses the signs of being, even if not that good, at least the passion of writing.
So, who is the writer?
First, the writer is insomiac. Usually, writers tend to express their feelings and thoughts at night. It's like, by midnight, their most creative ideas bloom, and so they have to get these creative thoughts out of their mind--and express their ideas into words, which in turn they can only put in letters creatively. Let's take for example journalists. Imagine their daily routine to work: they wake up in the morning and go to their office, get their assignment from their editors, and then set out to the city or the country or even the world to find the news they are looking for, and get back to their office again at the end of the day to type their report. Now, wouldn't that be a good reason, too, to have large eye-bags?
The writer likes listening to music. To other people, s/he may seem to have a passion for music, and so s/he likes the idea of listening to music. But sometimes, writers really don't care about music. Some may love listening music, but it's only because music helps their brain concentrate and produce more creative ideas while they are writing something--especially when it is due immediately. Personally, I also do the same thing of listening to music while writing simply because it really calms the nerves. Listening to music helps me concentrate--makes me feel like I'm alone and no one or nothing is bothering me. Besides, you can not write legibly if your environment is noisy. Other than that, when already feel alone while listening to music, music may be the writer's only company--as if it's his/her only friend around that helps him/her in his/her writing.
The writer is not much out-spoken. Very true. A writer don't tend to express his/her ideas frequently in speaking. S/he doesn't talk creatively. S/he maybe talkative, but his/her real ideas are still kept in his/her head. Sometimes, it is easier for a writer to write his/her thoughts using a pen and paper, rather than finding someone to talk to. Plus, there are just so many things going in his/her mind that it would really be annoying to put in words. If s/he writes it down, his/her thoughts tend to be understood easily because it is more organized.
In the case of young writers today who are still in school, writers usually think they are abnormal. But really, they are not. Something's just different about them. They feel that they think and/or see things differently in their point of veiw. Well, we are all uniuqe, anyway. But they just can't help feel that they are abnormal. Surely, they are normal, they just have to accept the fact that they do think/see things differently, so that they can help themselves improve their hidden talents.
Those are a few signs and symptoms of a writer in heart, based on the movie Prozac Nation. In the end, the true making of a passionate writer is his/her never-ending desire to write, write, and still write.
yahn @ 05:04 PM | Ice-peek! [2 comment/s]