Entries for September, 2005
September 4th, 2005
Nightmares in September
Yesterday, I had a nightmare. It was really weird actually. This was the scene: our whole family was held hostage by some Cruella Devil who killed all of us one by one. I knew there was a killing because one by one my family disappeared in my dreams, even if I fortunately didn't see them die before my eyes. What surprised me most is that I never got scared--I mean, like I never really felt anything negative like fear or despair. And in the dream too, I had faith in God. Yes.When I actually woke up from that dream, I smiled--not because I realized it was all a dream, but because of my faith. Actually, in the end of my dream, having so much faith in God and endlessly praying to His son, the rest of us lived: me and my parents. Whew! Good thing my faith never even sleeps! Hope that makes God smile at me.
Well, just imagine I was killed there too... don't you think I may not be able to sit and type here again? 
In my dream too, funny though, when I realized that in some time I'm gonna be killed together with my family, I just remembered my blog and scrap book. I immediately thought to myself, "What will happen to my scrap book? It's not yet even done! And, what will be written there about my death? Oh no! And hey! What about my blog? What would happen to my blog--no one would update it and my blog friends might wonder where the heck I am?"
Anyway, I just prayed and kept on reminding myself too to have faith in the man up there. Yeah, and so a miracle that we just needed happened. I also happen to remember thinking to myself, "Hey, this ain't yet the end, I know. God has something more for me, and I know God has a plan for me."
Like, I guess I was reading too much of my latest book. 
I just remembered my past nightmares back then. In those nightmares, I actually often cry. And when I wake up, the feeling I felt in that dream never went away easily. I mean, it didn't stay there for a whole day, week or month. It's just that that fear inside was brought upon reality, like I fear it might really happen! Like my nightmare when I actually went back to the time of Christ. I was about eight years old then and I really have no idea what that time looks like and the situation then. But in my dream, I have really felt the loneliness and suffering Jesus might have felt--which made me cry.
I cried in my dream, and when I woke up, I was still crying. But after a while I quite forgot all about it.Hmm, actually I don't have any idea why I can't forget that nightmare of mine. I can say that it has been the worst nightmare of my life. Ugh! I also recall a nightmare of gunshot again. I was with my cousin and she actually used herself to protect me from the gunshot, so she died then and there.
Right after then, I woke up. God is really good, huh? Imagine if I died too in the scene, don't you think I'd also actuallly die in this world? 
Oh well, enough of the nightmares. I know God has a reason why I had some of these terrible dreams and more. Maybe a test for me, maybe to teach me more lesson, or maybe both. Whichever, I'm still glad God made me a part of His plan. Thanks God! I won't fail you, I hope so!
mood :apple:
listen MYMP's Versions
read Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Live [day 11]
watch An American Tail, Laws of Attraction, Plots w/a View, Hostage
yahn @ 02:35 PM | Book Of The Yahn [4 comment/s]
September 18th, 2005
Hay. Another busy week. Didn't update for a while, I might add. A couple of things happened--I mean a lot!--and will happen for the next few weeks. Whew! Preparation for college is sure hectic, huh? Hmmm, idea applies to those grade- and university-concious, I suppose.
MM's Promotion
My good friend MM was promoted last week. Heck, yeah! Finally. Together with FOUR other "deserving" A2Cs, they are now also Ma'am's and Sir's who will serve our detachment as Drums officers and acting Medics [Coleen's assistants]. What's more, that stupid 'girl' never got the spot and seems really embarrased having bragged about her "sure-fire promotion" just because. Hah!
Anyway, we went to her house yesterday for her celebration. We watched Shutter which was pretty meaningful since it has a story yet not that pleasing to me since I really don't have a knack for suspense and scary movies, ate their ever-loving pop tarts while singing and preparing the main course for lunch, and of course debated about GMA's impeachemnt. i just realized after that discussion that Westeners live differently from Asians--they claim so much freedom as if they made all things possible, while we live by the principles of our morality forgetting that God is the only one who can tell us so. I just think that Westeners may be progressive, but no matter how much material wealth they accumulate, they will never be satisfied--'cause obviously only God can satisfy them.
Pacman Finally Proves Himself Worthy
On the scene last week was Pacman's knock-out victory over my Religion teacher, Hector "Gilbert" Velasquez [patuchada lang namin ng mga ka-klase ko yung Gilbert haha!
]. He finally proved in his game that night how good and strong Filipino were in boxing--and that we really ought to be recognized as the real champs! He also proved to his fellow Filipinos that he ain't bribed by the opposing team and he can win cleanly and sincerely. 
The Panel Discussion
Yey! Our panel discussion was over! It was held last week in the AVR, and for two days, we were late for lunch! Haha! It was really fun debating, fouling and questioning the other party's firmness in his/her stand in some issues about morality. Our issue about a life in exchange for one's virginity is cool since even though nobody urged to disagree with our stand [immoral], Eka still of course bothered to question us and defend our stand in the light of the saying 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth'. Coleen answered this and said things like "life is not equal to virginity, so why take life in revenge?". And afterwards, I found myself telling her that "if the victim lost her virginity in that rape, don't you think the rapist also lost something--like his dignity--which means that they are already both justified?". Whose husband would boldly confront his wife and tell her "Hey, I raped that kid!"? Tell me who, and I tell you how dare of him to boast himself like that.
The Letter
I didn't realize until one fateful Friday evening that my good friend had a reply about my cofession. I just bothered to share this itsy-bitsy info, but I won't detail it much. I just realized that a lot has already changed in our relationship. I see that she has changed, but have I, too? Even I stupidly don't know. I'm sorry I don't know even a bit of myself, but it's just that I think it's a little too selfish of me to admit that it was she who changed everything, and not me. In my heart, I know I have changed too, but I just can't seem to pinpoint what exactly has been new in my character. I don't know. In the letter, it also seems that she's angry with me--'cause I proved to be one of those friends "who will leave you behind in the end". I don't blame her for that, 'cause really if I wanted to, I've done something already. Oh God. I wish all things are patched up between us. *sigh*
You know what's more to this? This damn guy is so much getting in our way! Ugh! I hate it! I hate--as in I really, really hate!--this situation we're into. I so much fear that one day he'll cross the line our friendship will soon be doomed! Arggh!
ACET
Hey, yesterday I took another college entrance test, the ACET.
The place was really cool. I really loved the setting--the natural atmosphere that comforts you as if you're so far away from the over-polluted city. The facilities were not as nice as everyone else expected, and the service was really, really slow. Ugh, I don't know... whatever! *duh*Then they were also an ACP-affiliated school. Their shoes were boots just like in the Army or ROTC and they wore their caps even though they weren't uniform in style and logos patched on; and impressively their cadettes wore boknais just to cover hair--like without a care in the world how messy it looked like--and they also weren't objected to wear accessories! Haha! But still, I still like the strict but surely fashionable and fauxy rules in our school ACP.
I also remember the examiner telling us just before we started the whole thing this: This test is not as hard as UPCAT, but supposed to be harder than the other school along Taft. Hah! Go figure.
And the test itself? Well, I can surely say that it's really a lot easier than the UPCAT since my head didn't ache much right after, and I already learned a lot of test styles and techniques from the latter so I was prepared. Though I had difficulty in the very last part of the exam because I was sure slow in analysis and I really had trouble with word problems! Damn it! That 30-item test was answered mostly out of pure luck and wild guess! Hah!
Oh well, at least hopefully in this university I have better chances of passing than UP. Hehe. But of course, my first choice is still UP, especially now that I've learned something--that ADMU ain't quite appropriate for me 'cause of their wealthy, filthy lifestyle and outlook in real life. Durr! I just can't cope up with their standards, and they also can't seem to pass mine too.
The Awakening Dream
Hay, this morning, I woke up early to the sound of my sister's banging radio playing some sweet melodies. But what really made my eyes open up wide was the conciousness that... I dreamed of him again. Awww, it was really simple since the dream was simple too. He didn't have much part in my dream--he just asked for some snack that I was eating as of the moment, and then I woke up. Whatever, why bother with such craziness? Ugh!
Hay, I'm going now. I'm getting hungry, so I might as well make myself some sandwich again. ^_^ Toodles~
mood hehe
listen BEP's Don't Lie & MYMP's Crazy for You
read Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Live [day 24]
watch Shutter [durr]
yahn @ 04:12 PM | Book Of The Yahn [2 comment/s]
September 23rd, 2005
Life Here
Hey, guys. Know the latest news? I was robbed. Heck yeah! No joke of course. It's as simple and kinda stupid as this: I left my wallet some place and then forgot all about it, someone noticed it and returned to me and told me that it's already empty. Really careless and forgetful of me. *hums Forgetful Lucy*People who are robbed and lost a big amount of money as I bring everyday go hysteric, think of it so much, panic about it, and just go crazy wanting to find both the money and the robber all over again. But me? I'm no longer after the money, I'm more worried about the robber--his/her intention in stealing my cash. Ordinary people like me and my friends who would have seen my wallet just around won't dare touch it. But s/he? S/he was tempted so much--and I'm kinda sorry for tempting him/her. This sounds crazy and really careless, but in terms of money, I don't much bother myself. I'm not really much worried of losing whatever amount of money. It's not that I'm careless, but maybe it's due to the fact that there are more important things than money and the like--like my stolen necklace and mood ring. It's not about really the accessories, but the sentimental value--it was given by a friend, so I feel bad losing something my friend gave me.
Mom told me just now that she doesn't like my careless, boastful answer "the money I lost is not even a percent of all my money". True, but the point is that it's really hard to earn even that small amount of money. And I'm sorry too for my parents. I'm so careless, I really [obviously] didn't mean to lose it because it's from their perseverance and hard work.
All in all, I'm just sad having tempted that someone. Well, I guess all I can do now is just pray for the one that that large amount of money won't go to waste--just as I planned to initially spend it over expensive useless stuffs. I pray and will always ask God to care of that person, that s/he may use it for other people instead of personal fulfillment. I guess that's just life.
On the other hand, we went to Manila for our University tour. Yey! We went to a lot of colleges, particularly PUP, CEU, UST, FEU, Mapua, PLM [didn't get in anyway because of the boastful guard--hmmph!], and DLSU.
In PUP, we really appreciated our school, having seen the messy and busy life present and vibrant in the said school. Surely, our school's completely comparable to that public school in terms of facilities, environment, atmosphere and students. What keeps our school from being incomparable is the teaching--'cause if the teaching in my alma mater is as good as theirs, I won't surely bother myself of applying there. Having presented this kind situation that can really turn you off [all my friends were obviously turned off], I was really challenged. It can really test my persistence, perseverance, determination and most especially my principle--my character. That's why I usually choose public schools over Catholic ones--'cause I'm kind of getting bored already with the superficial religion of people around. Anyway, my test is still on February, so wish me luck!
CEU was really cute 'cause of their pink motif. But, it's obviously a Catholic school. So I didn't bother applying there. There, they let out all their frustrations and irritation in PUP. They are disgusted again with our alma mater. Don't much care. As long as I will pass my UST form, I'm almost done.
FEU was next on the list and I still didn't bother get an application just because of the stupid miscommunicable guards. Whatever!
Then finally UST! Passed my form and test scheduled on the 23rd of October, 8am-12pm. Really cool 'cause me and Hershey are on the same building. Bhez was scheduled in a different building so we might not meet at all.
Anyway, we inquired in Mapua and PLM but didn't get application forms. We were kicked out in PLM [after walking almost a mile from Mapua just because someone said it was ONLY a five-minute walk!] by the guard, telling my friends "Are you sure you're gonna study here?", asking us as if we're not capable of passing. Duh! We'll show him!
Finally in DLSU, I got to secure an application for me and my bhez, then we went McDo to unwind, and then away to home!
By the way, we just noticed that in public schools, people were usually snobbish. No wonder, having to work with or for dirty politicians.
In the end, I passed two application forms and already have two scheduled tests coming up, acquired only one form which is unfortunately not my choice but my parents, and is planning to apply to still another public school next year. Oh, how wonderful passing in all those universities!
Just this week, I entered myself to the Impromptu Speech that will be held next week in celebration for our English week. Wish me luck! Hope I win! If God intended to, let it go all along.
Take care for now.
mood sore
listen MYMP's Versions
read Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life [day 30]
watch The 3 Mousekeeters
yahn @ 06:07 PM | Book Of The Yahn [5 comment/s]
September 26th, 2005
Freedom [Or So We Believe]
Our country, the Philippines, is a democratic republic, said our very own people way past since Emilio Aguinaldo reigned president. Until now, our fellow countrymen still don't believe that we are "absolutely free". But, what is really the definition of freedom anyway?Freedom, in laymen's terms, is being able to do and say whatever one wished to do or say without being dictated. In the Philippines, I have a perception that democracy is about protests, rallies, ousting presidents or leaders, and the like. Other than these violent movements towards a stronger republic, the poor Filipinos define freedom in being on our own--Filipino people owning the Phlippine land, working in the Phlippines, and living independently without any intervention from the outside.
But, what is it really like to be free? Is it really about protesting what you want, voicing out loud your objections--and end up hurting other people just to get your way?
I don't think so. I don't think this is how we Filipinos perceive freedom in the light of our traditions. Our protesters have gone far enough when they declared People Power 2. The essence of such People Power is getting senseless the more the people of our republic ask for it. People oust the president, assign the vice president as the president, then oust the current president, assign again the vice, and the cycle goes on and on like we're going nowhere. Where have the Filipino values gone now? What kind of freedom do we really want to claim ours?
On June 12th of 1898, Emilio Aguinaldo declared our country to be free from the Spandiards. People absolutely rejoiced upon hearing this. They were completely glad having been released from the merciless hands of Spanish soldiers and friars. Happy for being free from the dictation of these Spaniards who just ruined our lives and culture. From that event, it can be infered that everything that the Filipino wanted was freedom from the hands of colonizers--freedom from the dictatorship of other countries.
And so, I believe that we don't need a People Power 3, 4 or whatever number that would be. The Filipino don't want anymore chaos in the congress, debating over and over again the impeachment of the current President GMA. All our fellow countrymen wants is freedom from the hands of outside entities, trying to get hold of us just so they can use us for their progress. Our current political status is just pulling up other countries on top of world economy, while we go deeper down at the bottom of the 3rd world countries. What's more, our need to bring up our economy is being taken advantage by other countries--offering us stupid, selfish programs and invitations to organizations that won't help us even a bit.
Everytime we rally in the streets of EDSA and shout with violence our wants, we satisfy our own freedom. We are happy when we successfully got our way. But how other's way? How about the freedom of our fellow countrymen--have we considered such things before protesting in the streets carrying our placards?
Well, isn't time that we have thought if our system is really democratic? Have we not noticed that the term "majority wins" does not conform to freedom of chosing, because the "majority" is not the whole crowd, just part of it, and therefore it means we didn't consider other people's choice? Have you ever realized that our definition for democracy and freedom is misdirected and foul enough?
Being a Catholic, I have just realized that freedom is not about getting in other's way just to get yours, or being frank to say what you want mindless of other's emotions. Only God can tell us what we ought to do and say. So I therefore say that freedom consists of merely being free from someone's command--and letting only God alone rule our words and actions.
yahn @ 09:17 PM | Ice-peek! [Add comment/s]
September 27th, 2005
YEHEY!!! :jester:
Ok people! Artista na ang pinakamamahal ninyong si Yahn!!! [In English, Yahn is already a star--once again!]Highlights Of The Day
[]>> Yahn won today's Impromptu Speech in celebration of their English Week. Question: what makes me a true LCCia? My answer: the 5 profiles of an LCCian graduate. Believe it or not, I'm the only one who geniously thought of such an answer. Thank you! *bow*
[]>> Also, her two friends won in Newscasting [bhez] and Declamation [Coleeen], both 5th contestants and 3rd placers.
They both depended on my improptu speech so at least one of us gets a gold medal for this occassion! Di ko sila binigo! [I ain't failed them!!! []>> MS. PRECIOUS LARA QUIGAMAN, an LCC alumnus, won last night's Ms. Internation pageant! Congratulations! We're so damn proud of you! ^_^
[]>> And lastly, artista na ang favorite niyong sina Yahn at bhez! Oh di ba! We're stars now, and so watch us out tonight in 24 Oras and also on Saturday, in Jessica Soho reports.
Latest School Accomplishments
[]>> Youth Congress in Baguio
- Ms. PRISAAP 2005 [abangan niyo ang interview niya sa 24 oras!
]- 1st runner up Mr. PRISAAP [go papa Dann!
]- 4th place in essay writing contest
- winner in Interpretative Reading contest
- 14th out of 51 participants in Poster making contest
[]>> Don Bosco contests
- Best drummer! [nanalo ng marmol!]
- Champion in Song Interpretation! Yay!
[]>> District Meet updates
- Winner boys natin, both basketball and volleyball! Yeah!
Oh di ba ang saya today?
Abangan pa sa Friday!
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Kewl! My dad behind po ^_____^
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mood hyper
listen MYMP's Versions
read Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life [day 33]
watch 24 Oras!!! :P
yahn @ 05:12 PM | Book Of The Yahn [2 comment/s]