Entries for October, 2007

October 21st, 2007

Sem Ender

It's been a while since I last posted in this blog. And you might be wondering what happened to me. Or if I'm gonna post an update sooner or later. Well, here's the update you've been waiting for. But not quite the update you might be expecting.

I was browsing through old posts, and I came across my sem starter post. Mind you, I noticed that it's my third to the latest post. So much update for the last five months, huh? Anyway, I was just reminded of my goals and objectives. What happened to me?

One afternoon, after our Math finals, I remembered the same thing and mentioned it to my blocmate. I told her, "I didn't have goals in mind for this sem, eh? How odd. No wonder my sem turned out like this." I think that comment was just pessimistic of me, right?

As I've finished reading that post, I was reminded of why on earth I wouldn't pursue any goals or objectives for this semester: I want my life to be spontaneous. I want to achieve the unexpected... I want to go through my first sem as a sophomore with nothing in mind but to give out my best and expect no great accomplishment in return. I figured that it's much more fulfilling to have something you're not counting on to. Are you following me?

So, because I had no goals or objectives to review for accomplishment, you might be wondering what happened to me this semester. And I tell you, even without the stupid list, a lot, and so much, has happened. And I have learned a lot. I would say that I grew up a little. If big changes happened last year, well grand ones came crashing in this sem. Not just for me, but for my friends and family as well.

It's been always like this. Once the sem starts, I have too little time to update my blog. And it may be because I write too long. What can I do? I like compiling my thoughts and organizing them in a single post. Last year, I was literally busy with academic stuffs, and reviving myself in YFC. How busy were I this year? Well, let me count the ways.

First, I took three major, five-unit subjects: two Science [both have lecture and laboratory], and one Math. The first two are heavy both on the load and time, and one of them is a pre-requisite for a lot of other majors. And then the third, the usual Math, only this time, heavy on memorization. How about that?

And then came my affiliations. It's amazing that I got back on track with Gawad Kalinga. But what's even more amazing is that I actually went through what I've been randomly planning since I passed the UPCAT: join a sorority. It was never on my goals-list, I tell you. All I thought was: if someone invites me, then why not? It wasn't that easy, especially for those who knew me. Add to that the VERY timely issue of Cris Mendez. But, damn, I am so happy. There are too many challenges, but I know I can surpass them all. I'm learning a lot, and I'm looking forward to learning so much more. I'm loving it!

Plus, the church. I'm wondering if I'm still a Christian now. I've been evaluating my daily routine for the past sem, and it hit me: I've spent less time with God now than before. Sad, but true. But what's sadder is that I've been letting go of my faith slowly. And I figured, maybe I should get back to God next sem. Or I should do so now already.

I admit, it was a much different sem now than before. Yes, so much happened, but am I happy? Doesn't quite sound like me, right? So different from the cheerful, optimistic Yahn. I believe it's only for now. Let me be transparent for once, and sigh out all my frustrations. And after this, just maybe you'd see me better: happier and better.

Anyway, I've noticed another post of mine, just last May 31. And I was reminded of my plans in shifting. Would you believe that just last month, my mother was asking me if I'm shifting courses? Man, do I really look that weak to handle such Engineering course?

Well, here's the weirder thing: I haven't let go of the thought yet. Then again, when I go out and face my friends, blocmates, teachers, parents, I'd always go, "No backing out now. I'm gonna finish what I've started."

And I'm holding on to that now. For once, let me finish what I've started. There are a lot of challenges, but I know I can handle them. Of course, I have God with me, and He empowers me to do all things. As I've told my blocmate, "Ang hirap pa lang maka-graduate sa college, no?" I'm empowered to give more, more than what I gave last sem, and strive for higher things.

And finally, my love life. How is it? Never mind... still zero. How sad is that? I'm back at that syndrome of mine of wanting to be in love. And it's much worse this time for I've come up with my perfect line: Always the bride's maid, never the bride.

Now, here's the deal: a few years back, just before I turned seventeen, I thought to myself that maybe I would have a boyfriend by 18. And what's the date now? October--and less than three months I'm turning 19. Whoa, so time is running out for me, eh?

Anong petsa na? Darating ka pa ba?

After this, I'm going out, and make things work out better for me. Hahaha. I'm crazy, I know. What a post. XD

yahn @ 06:08 AM | Book Of The Yahn [2 comment/s]