Summer Ender

May 31, 2008

listen
Sugar Ray's Someday
read
John Maxwell's The 360-Degree Leader
watch
Grey's Anatomy Season 3

I came across these great reflection questions in the internet. Last night, I decided that since the end of the month is almost here [and it is actually] as well as the summer vacation, which closes one busy season for me once again, I'm posting my end-of-summer entry today. I figured I'd take the time today to reflect on what a busy summer season it has been for me, and wonder what more I could do in the next couple of days, months, or for the rest of the year.

What?

What happened? That's the core question that the first reflection question is supposed to tackle. Exactly what are the details of my summer vacation?

Well, to start off, it wasn't exactly a vacation--at all. No, I didn't spend my summer in vacation: swimming in the beaches of Batangas, sitting the whole day in front of my laptop [like what I just did this whole week--well, almost], or even spending quality time with my family [the real ones and the high school pals].

So, instead of the same, old-fashioned summer vacation I had in the past, I studied. And I do mean study as if it's a regular semester, taking up units that I need to complete my course. Anyway, since I have this opportunity to spend a few days [OK, so it was almost a month] away from home, then I figured I better plan out my days rather than just let things go--unmanagable and, you know, wasted.

To start off, let me go back with my summer plans list.

1. Reflect. Now of course, based on my past posts in this blog, I sure did go through that journey of discernment and search for God. From April 16 until May 26 I have been consistent in keeping up with the 40-chapter book of retreat--spending at least 30 minutes of the day reading and reflecting over a chapter of the book. OK, so I had my ups and downs of sleeping through the book and running out of time for writing my thoughts and God's message for me. But hey! By God's grace I persisted, and now I've learned--I let it change me this time more than it did before. This is what everything I do is all about: getting the strength and wisdom from God to make things possible.
   
2. Read seven [7] books/novels. Now this I must admit, I have deliberately failed. I haven't opened a novel all this time. Though I must add that I did get to finish another Joshua Harris book, Boy Meets Girl. I already had it pinned down, having plotted a reading plan of when and what to read. Oh well, will just have to try better next time. Guess God's telling me this isn't the best time for novels--just focus on the reflection [and academics].
   
3. Attend Youth Camp and Campus Harvest in May. Cross for the former, check for the latter. Enough said.
   
4. Get slimmer. Uh, I think that goes for my whole lifetime, until I get my waist to 24 inches. Yeah, that would be fine. Well, unless of course God asks me erase that one, why not?
   
5. Drive. Get this: I now have my parents' trust to park the car--on a regular basis! And I almost thought I'm not really for this--when all of a sudden, God now puts in my heart a desire for driving my own car. How about that?
   
6. Play the piano and memorize notes. Why, of course, I even had my piano set up in the dorm just so I get to practice my pieces. But no, after less than a week, I was off that high chair in front of my piano. And you woundn't guess where in the room I would be found in those piano practice hours.
   
7. Write and earn money. I never gathered the courage to go back there and collect my money. Hmm, that's stupid--I know I've earned that money. Oh well, next sem I really have to face them and get my payment already. God help me.
   
8. Speak French. Same as what happened with my piano lessons--got pretty tired and, well, overtaken by some other priority--which I'd like to point out right now that it is a correct decision.
   
9. Cook! No time, and place, for cooking. Or maybe I just lacked the initiative to ask, learn and actually cook.
   
10. And of course, STUDY. Now who would have thought that my tenth and last goal for the summer season actually went up to almost the first place, overtaking my initial passion and desire at the start of the season for French and piano lessons? Instead of in front of the piano, working my ass to read the piano notes I've almost forgotten, I found myself in front of the desk, buried in the old notes and math problems of a blocmate's. Instead of learning the craft of French grammar, there I was, memorizing and reliving the Calculus days of integration and differentiation. And it all paid off even as I wasn't exempted, for then God was glorified when I perfected the finals. I may never have gotten that flat one, but God was generous enough to willingly give me the 2.0.
    

So what?

Now this second question would answer the question why did I have to do all these? Why did this and that happen, and why did I have to choose this and that? Basically, it answers that puzzling three-letter question [that I should say requires us as humans to be logical and reasonable]: WHY?

1. Reflect. I came back at that point [or perhaps it was the point that came back? Either way, I was facedwith the questions!] when I kept asking myself why I do things, what keeps me going, and what exactly am I looking forward to. Sean Covey helped much in getting me through the hopeless stage of 'Who cares? Nobody.' I managed to care about myself, my life, and started organizing it--having realized that management is what it lacks that's why things never go my way. But that was a very long time ago. Now, the question still hanging for me [though thankfully doesn't bother me now] is WHY? Came back to those three ultimate questions of human existence: identity, role and importance. Having reminded of Mt 16.25 as I desired to go on soul-searching, I realized that I didn't have to find myself, rather I just have to seek God and understand His will all the more. And I would say that was exciting--for me at least. Now, after that 40-day retreat, I realized that it was a good idea, and it would be a better one to pause every once in a while and, just like I did, check on God Himself how I am doing.
   
2. Read seven [7] books/novels. Well, you should know by now why! Of course, books are piling up and collecting dust in my study table. And they're all new and unopened [like wow!]. And there's just a lot to read around here. And... well, I just love reading. And I don't intend to go on hiatus and have a hard time getting back the ol' reading pace. Na-ah.
   
3. Attend Youth Camp and Campus Harvest in May. Because I know, and God tells me so, that my involvement is needed in these activities. More is not just merrier, but is even better. And at the end of the month, my commitment is what really matters. I gave my word, so I have to keep it. Mind you, I gave my word to God.
   
4. Get slimmer. Getting fatter just wastes my clothes, disallowing me to wear them already. But I guess it's a good sign that I should shop for new ones instead. Even still, I'd rather shop with a slimmer bod than a stuffed one. Besides, the fats aren't so good for me. In short, I'm getting unhealthy. That's why.
   
5. Drive. First, because dad wants me to. And then my sister. And then same goes for myself. Lastly, because I have to. The driving lessons will come in handy pretty soon.
   
6. Play the piano and memorize notes. I played the piano again at the request of my parents. And perhaps partly because I was jealous. Well now I know better that all I have to compete with is myself, and the standard I have to meet is my own. Plus, I really like playing the piano. Really, I do! Though it doesn't show much in the time I give to it.
   
7. Write and earn money. I simply want to store up some riches of my own, that's all.
   
8. Speak French. I am looking forward to go France, even Paris, sooner or later. OK, so maybe I don't have to learn the craft because I won't spend that much time there ['cause really, I'm just planning on a vacation--two weeks perhaps] and I could converse in English instead. But I like the French language, and I'd really like to converse well in another language. Why, haven't you wondered yet why French of all languages--even so, all European languages? Simple: I like it. Suits me. It's a challenge for me, and once I get through this, then I'll pursue as well Spanish [which a lot say is much easier especially for a Tagalog-speaking lady like me].
   
9. Cook! Oh, this one's in preparation for my future. As a housewife of course. Or if you wish, as an independent woman.
   
10. And of course, STUDY. The campus, my education--that's why!

Why have you noticed? I seem so driven in these activities. I haven't done this before--explaining to myself why I do things and stuff. Now I know that I am a determined woman. I just lack discipline. And reminders.

Now what?

Now what?! Now I have an idea what else to do: what I should actually be focusing on, and what I could do better.

But first, let me recount my priorities in life [the most specific, more realistic, and unlikely to change ones].

1. My personal relationship with God.
2. My relationship with my family.
3. My academics/studies [later on, my career].
4. My fellowship with the church and fellow believers.
5. My commitment to the organizations I am part of even before I became a believer.
   

Now, let me see which summer goals were left hanging, and the ones we could label 'Mission Accomplished.' OK, maybe silly, but who cares? As if I don't know any better to assess myself.

1. Reflect.
2. Read seven [7] books/novels.
3. Attend Youth Camp and Campus Harvest in May.
4. Get slimmer.
5. Drive.
6. Play the piano and memorize notes.
7. Write and earn money.
8. Speak French.
9. Cook!
10. And of course, STUDY.

Seems like the striked ones are the 'Mission Accomplished' goals for me. Well done, I should say. And then there are the ones in bold text, indicating that they're still hanging, waiting for me to be accomplished--I know! While there are two items that underlined instead--because I know I've done them over the summer, but doesn't mean I'll stop at that and dismiss them: I have to keep going! Oh, there goes also those two items in plain text. Why? I don't exactly plan on pursuing them now. No. You see, they don't fit in any of my priorities--no, they don't! And the answers in the 'So what?' section? Just goes to show how undetermined I am for these things.

Four out of ten goals. Am I getting any better? Maybe not, maybe yes, maybe so. Doesn't matter. I'll keep on going.

And of course, as I close, I now present a draft of my goals for the upcoming semester.

• Keep up with the quality time [QT] everyday.
• Discern and carry out God's characteristics for a woman: integrity, generosity, initiative, discipline, resourcefulness, wisdom, kindness, courage, faithfulness, humility, passion.
• Disciple.
• Keep up with my responsibility to the church: fellowship and ministry.
• Go home every week, and spend quality time with family--share stories!
• STUDY--all over again. Develop good study habits, acing more exams, and passing courses--with flying colors.
• Keep on driving, and driving, and parking.
• Recruit.
• Fulfill my responsibilities in the organizations I am part of.
• Read a novel every night.
• Strictly follow schedules! [Set them myself, but still striving hard at following my own plans?]
  

Cheers everyone!