Entries for June, 2008

June 2nd, 2008

Jump Start

Why, I do feel so much nostalgic these days! [term courtesy of Satsuki]

I came across my first post for this year, and, after six months, I was reminded of my initial goals for the year--the long list of goals-slash-resolutions I was looking forward to accomplish. Half of the year is almost over, but I'm not sure if I'm done with even half of my resolutions. These goals are much different from the ones I made before, from the summer goals I usually write. These ones require discipline, and I can never tell the outcome until the very last day of my deadline. They are habits that mold my character, inculcating values and virtues in my life.

Somehow, I think I did well in writing this one. Instead of a one-time, big-time mission, I cut it down to pieces, and eventually see what really matters: character.

With God as my top priority, I prefer that His standards of a godly woman be my standard too. And for the next six months, the remaining days of the year, my mission is to cultivate these values in my life. I'm not altering or erasing those resolutions I once posted; rather I'm shifting the focus from the habits and acts themselves, to the root: the values and virtues.

1. Integrity. Tell it like it is. Know where thy loyalty lies. Work honestly and with fear, acting as if everyone's watching--because everyone will. Better be truthful than deceitful.
   
2. Generosity. Give time, share resources, teach diligently. Thy help always counts.
   
3. Initiative. Make the first move. Sense needs. Ask how thy can serve.
   
4. Discipline. Keep up with the schedule, spiritual disciplines. Exercise self-control. Draw thy mind to what really matters.
   
5. Resourcefulness. Keep the thrift. Communicate well with the right people.
   
6. Wisdom. Discern thy Lord. Make no move out of haste, nor out of pressure, but out of options.
   
7. Kindness. Smile and encourage. Remember.
   
8. Courage. Pray--and prepare thy heart at all costs.
   
9. Faithfulness. Lift up thy concerns to the Lord.
   
10. Humility. Don't say a word. Just thank and praise thy Creator.

These are why I do all else.

mood productive
watch Grey's Anatomy Season 3

yahn @ 10:39 AM | Book Of The Yahn [Add comment/s]

June 3rd, 2008

Challenged

It's been a while since I was tagged. Well, I'm not exactly a snob, so I'm not dismissing this one.

THE RULES: People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
   Anytime soon. I mean, maybe 25-30 years old. Maybe even younger. But definitely not while I'm studying. So I just have to finish first.
   
2. What's your favorite song?
   More Than Words. And I don't even have an idea since when.
   
3. Have you ever shoplifted?
   Nah.
   
4. What country do you wish to go to right now?
   Europe! France to be exact. And England.
   
5. Do you like old movies?
   Yes. Sometimes, I guess.
   
6. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?
   Cope up.
   
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
   Build my own business, or franchise, or build a school, or fund scholarship.
   
8. What can you say about death?
   It's not the worst.
   
9. List 3 good points of the person(s) who tagged you.
   Kind, full of initiative, focused.
   
10. How do you cope with boredom?
    Write, read, write, read. And then think a lot.
    
11. Do you wanna go to heaven?
    Yes.
    
12. Who is (are) your favorite novel character(s)?
    The lawyer in Grisham's novel, The Testament, I think it's Nate... Nate O'Reily if I'm not mistaken. I think he's hot. XD
    
13. If you have one wish, what would you wish for?
    Heaven.
    
14. Given a chance to join a reality show, which one would you join?
    American Idol. And then get to see David Cook, and become like William Hung.
    
15. Do you believe that dreams do come true?
    Yes. Mine did. Not talking about fantasies and wishful thinking, but dreams as in when you sleep--yeah!
    
16. What do you do before taking exams?
    Eat, cram, work. Any of those.
    
17. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
    Cookies n cream!
    
18. What are the first 5 things you do after waking up?
    a. Say a li'l prayer.
    b. Take a bath.
    c. QT
    d. Plan, plan, plan.
    e. Eat breakfast, or any food.
    
19. What do you do during rainy days?
    Sleep all day, sleep all day...
    
20. What's your favorite fairytale?
    Is Aladdin included? 'Cause I really love Jasmine. That's my all-time favorite story.
    

I tag Bhez, Satsuki, Llyngee, Krisel, Sis, Midori, Todj, Rajiv.

On another note, I came across this group, the Blog365, yesterday that challenges bloggers around the world to blog every single day, for 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, one straight year. It was pretty cool and I was tempted to sign up and take the challenge. Well, I'm not ready to actually blog everyday starting today, but I was thinking of starting so next year, January 1, 2009.

Of course it would take a lot of effort, time, energy, and even resources to do this. Consistency and determination aren't just enough to succeed in the challenge, but also creativity and decisiveness to think up of something nice to post. I don't intend to post impulsively, right?

Then again, it occured to me: do I really have to do this? I'm not getting paid or anything for this. Yes it's a challenge for me, but does it get me any closer to my goals, or the accomplishment of my mission? To some it isn't a waste of time. But take me differently: to me, it is. Blogging would only take me an hour, even just minutes. But those precious minutes--hey they're still time, and time is gold! This is what I have in mind: the time I spend in blogging, I could spend in QT or mentoring or studying instead.

Still, it occurs to me: perhaps the challenge isn't about me writing something, but learning. Maybe I could challenge myself to learn something every single day and share it to the world. I don't know, we'll see soon.

For now, I'll get my stuffs done. Think I'll exercise tomorrow. Sure hope so.

listen Linkin Park's Valentine's Day
read John Maxwell's The 360-Degree Leader
watch CSI Miami

yahn @ 03:28 PM | Book Of The Yahn [4 comment/s]

June 6th, 2008

Losing Track

Have you ever felt at one point or another that feeling that the world is spinning so fast--a li'l faster than you expected it--and being caught off-guard 'cause then you realized that another day has passed you by already and you hardly noticed it?

Well, today I did get the feeling somehow. Today I was so shocked--you could just imagine my mom's surprised face at my total lack of time-consciousness. I was so socked to realize that today's Friday, all along thinking that today's Thursday and tomorrow, Friday, a weekday, could be a good day to go shopping.

Anyway, so there goes another computer-filled week for me. I was supposed to go out one of these days before the week ends, but I keep on forgetting to ask my mom to at least go out with me. Now the week has closed in on me without even me noticing.

On another note, I just thought I'd share with you that I'm off that John Maxwell leadership book. Last week, each new chapter that I unfolded each day just made me think of closing the book and keeping it in the shelves of our home. Why? Because each day I realized all the more that I don't really want to read it--that I have no plans of finishing it. What has kept me that long only was my determination to finish what I've started. Then it finally came to my senses that such determination wasn't really enough. I'm not very eager to read the book, and I'm not learning anything new at all. Just thought I'm wasting my time energy on this.

Right now, as I've said that determination of finishing what I've started, I was reminded of my many circumstances that I wish I could escape to but can't because of that determination. Studies, commitments to organizations, plans I wish to pursue soon.

Then God comes knocking just in time--when I'm at the brink of mumbling helplessly and tirefully on my desperate situation on priorities and activities. I realized that if I could actually set my foot in that one thing I want to be wholeheartedly determined to finish--well I guess I would be much devoted with my walk with God.

If there's anything that taught me to actually finish what I've started, it's definitely not Sean Covey's best-seller. Indeed, he introduced me to determination, thank you. Definitely not  my organizations, too. Though thanks to them for introducing to me DC: discipline and commitment.

Devotion. Yup, that's the key in keeping your word and actually making it to the last straw. God just taught me that, in my five-month consistent QT with Him. And you know what? Ever since I have put Him first, consistently everyday of my life, I could say that life has never been the same--ever. As Nancy Leigh DeMoss would put it, Christianity takes discipline. And I can't agree more.

Well, I didn't really intend for that to be the topic of this post, so let's leave that one for now. I just can't help noticing how much has changed since I've been serious with my walk with God!

Anyway, just wanna share too about this site that I discovered that gives away 5 GB of free space. I registered and all that stuff but I haven't quite set up my site yet. I'm thinking of actually designing that one and then show off there my past layouts, with my archives. I know, it would take lotsa time and effort, so I'm hesitating now. I've always planned something like this but when the idea of time and effort comes in, I back out. Well, maybe all I'm really supposed to do is actually upload my ZIP files so I could actually free up space for my dear Neo. Perhaps I'll do just that.

OK, so I didn't really intend to post anything now, so you could just notice how random my paragraphs have been. Like anything goes!

Next week I'm planning to really shop, and I already told mom I'm gonna buy a whole new wardrobe. I got inspired recently by the line Your clothes talk--about you. I've seen it once and heard it twice. And also by Elle Woods. Thus, I now mix the two, and come up with a new wardrobe: classy, elegant and conservative. I'm telling you, those words aren't enough to describe my plan in mind. Just wait.

But not only that, I'm planning also of course to have my life have a complete turn-around. You'll see not a very different me, but an empowered, godly woman.

Anyway, there goes my plans, and the everything-goes post. My classes start next, next week. I hope I still find the time to blog once classes start.

I'm off now. Mom needs to 'skype' for now. Toodles.

PS: I think I'll write God a letter before the sem starts. Maybe tomorrow, or on Sunday, or sometime next week. Oh, and before I forget, I also plan to actually partake in that Blog365 challenge. I plan to have my devotional blog be active once again, and I reckon this is a good start to get me kickin' good with updating that one. OK, really have to go now. Keep 'em crossed!

listen David Cook's I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
watch Legally Blonde

yahn @ 08:05 PM | Book Of The Yahn [Add comment/s]

June 10th, 2008

Count Thy Blessings

Dear Lord,

You'd see in my previous post in this blog that I wanna write You a letter. But then, today after four days, I've had no idea what to write about. I wondered what I would write down here. Then again, I read your word in John 17, which narrates the long prayer Jesus had for His people before He was handed over to be crucified. And that's when it struck me to ask You: what do I pray for? What do You want me to say?

And over the next couple of hours my mind thought of a thousand or less concerns that I could pray for--but finally came to a rest as I soon discovered that I had nothing more than this one prayer in my heart: thanksgiving.

So, Lord, let me thank You a hundred-fold for a fruitful season this has been for me.

Thank You for the abundance, the prosperity, for filling in all our needs. What we have now I could say is more than enough in fact. We have been so blessed materially with a new lot to which our home for twelve years is about to be extended. I personally thank You for entrusting us with wordly riches that secure both our health and education.

Thank You for the food You've served in our table more than thrice a day, seven days a week. Thank You for keeping us full. But moreover, I thank You for the grace of not overindulging. Thank You for giving me discipline to eat right, drink right, and know just what is right. Thank You for drawing my attention to You instead to sinful gluttony.

Thank You, of course, for the family You have blessed me with. Indeed, these are the exact people You want me to greatly bless, that You want me to grow in. After nineteen years of living, only now have I greatly appreciated the comfort of having a caring, concerned, loving family. I can't agree more to say that there's no place like home.

But of course, thank You for all the time You have spared for us in this world. As they say, time is indeed gold, and it has been a tremendous blessing not just for me, but for everyone around me. Thank You for the times spent with my family--time to get to know them better and let myself known more. Moreover I am thankful for the free time: the appointed hours of rest that has indeed given me my much needed rest and relaxation; moments of stillness and quietness that enables me to hear You in this hazy, busy world; tranquil moments of reflection, prayer and planning; and just about enough minutes in Your presence. I can't thank You more for time.

I thank You for Your Book that has always been my companion every morning in my walk with You in this world. Thank You for preserving it, that all of us may do live in accordance to Your laws and promises.

And how could I forget to thank You for the new cell phone? Yes, it is wordly wealth, but just when I thought of praying fervently for that one possession I am wishing for, then you come barging in with such great blessing and teaching me a real prayer. Thank You very much for revealing to me John 17 at the hour I needed it most: to pray not for my own, but for Your will, and Your will alone. Thank You for giving me this that I do not need and have not asked for yet, but You gave anyway for You knew and always have known I will be needing it soon enough.

Moreover, I thank You most especially for Your abundant and unconditional love for us. Thank You for the grace; thank You for the mercy; thank You for Your son Jesus Christ; thank You for the life.

Well, I have one prayer left in my heart though: that you continue to mold me in Your likeness, to become the woman You've designed me to be. I'm looking forward to a fruitful semester ahead, continuous discipline and consistency in my life, without a single failing mark, acing all registered subjects, fulfilling my duties excellently, wholehearted diligence in my service, and growing stronger, more faithful, and more courageous than ever.

Knowing all along I would have none of these without You.

Your faithful woman,
Yahn

yahn @ 10:14 AM | The Letters [3 comment/s]

June 13th, 2008

A Tribute To A Real Man

He is the number one man of the house. [Well, except maybe for God, but then He's God after all, OK?] He is that one man who knows you so well: who knew you even before you had an idea of your own identity, who cared and loved you so much that he hesitatingly regretted punishing you for your disobedience and wickedness, who tried as much as he can to help you no matter how much you drive him away, who stepped back twice giving you enough space to be independent and making sure he's within the vicinity when you're through with your independence.

Who is he, anyway? The head of the house, the head of the family, the head of state, the head of the country [or maybe not]. I call him Papa. They call him Meo, Romy, Romeo, Nino. You call yours daddy, popsie, daddy-kins, papanggot, papi, fafanggot, father--and what-not.

Who are they? No other than our fathers: the real men.

No, they don't prove their manhood when they were toddlers--playing with robots and cars rather than Barbie and Ken.

No, they don't prove their masculinity in elementary when they pick fights with other boys.

No, they don't prove anything at all in high school by flirting all the girls in his school and the surrounding community--taken or not.

No, they don't also prove anything at all in college by dating these grown up women instead--mesmerizing the ladies with spur-of-the-moment others-inspired serenades.

And definitely, no, they prove nothing at all taking home innocent ladies in some dark, private, quiet, arousing environment and rob them of their virginity--whether 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or even nth time!

If, as former Ms. Universe title holder Sushmita Sen once answered, the essence of being a woman is to bear a child. In the same way I could say the essence of being a man is to able to raise that child. But lo and behold. He need not raise the child alone; he must be able to lead his whole family. He is in powerful after all, and with great power comes great responsibility.

So, this is my tribute to the real men of the world, and all those who have walked in the face of our planet. Let me say it clear and loudly, or rather write it down clearly and vivdly:

THANK YOU.

For the support, wisdom, and protection--and I don't even have an idea where to start!

Well, we don't want your egos pampered; we just want you to feel appreciated. Love maybe the last thing you'll ask from us, but we insist on hugging you for it. And lastly, let me just say this: we respect you. Yes we do, though we don't seem to be. We can't help loving you instead of respecting you! After all, you are the authority, and you do well in proving so with the way you confidently act: decide, teach, command.

By the way, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

yahn @ 10:51 PM | Ice-peek! [2 comment/s]

Quarter-Life

All of a sudden, the idea of researching for so many things popped out of my mind. Including the quarter life-slash-age, or more famously the quarter-life crisis.

All of a sudden, too, I find myself relating to such: the quarter-life dilemma.

Before I went to school today to see how my room's doing and check in all the things I'll be needing next year, the idea of quarter-life has rung a bell in my head. As I sat there in the front-seat of our white Nissan/Mitsubishi/what-not, I kept thinking of where I first heard of the quarter-life term.

Well, my first encounter of this so-called quarter-life is actually from a column by a personal-favorite writer, Celine Lopez. Her title caught my attention: Quarter-Life Delilah. I was a teenager then [though I must point out that I still am a teenager even though past my debut less than eighteen months ago] and I had no idea what this so-called quarter-life is about.

When she wrote the article, I come to discover she was 25 or 26 then--quite a 'silver' age where you've finally ridden yourself of books, teachers, assignments, exams, so-called university-slash-college-slash-hell life; have a stable [or maybe not so stable one] job, apartment, career, dream, or whatever you'd like it; but begin asking oneself: now what?

It's not like I'm beginning to think now of my so-called junior engineering student life and my future as a licensed one. But then, as I thought and deprived myself of sleep on our way to my college, it struck me that quarter-life shouldn't be 25 or 26. I mean, hey! Look at the structure of the word: quarter meaning one-fourth. If 25 years is a quarter already, that means you get to live a hundred years.

I began to realize then that you don't really get to live that long--at least not these days! If you really look forward to getting old, you'd actually consider living just past 80 but not really as old as 90. Like, 91 or 97 is actually a blessing already. Get me?

But what really hit me is what I read when I searched the net for my boredom. It was just a line--no! just a [compound] word in fact--and I began to view this 'term' a different way: twenty-something.

Why, twenty did ring a bell to me! Am I not in that borderline right now--less than seven months away from crossing that borderline and actually considering myself in a 'quarter-life dilemma'?

Now, this is what quarter-life is in a nutshell: confusion. Questions begin to creep in and haunt me--and I mean new ones! And then countless thoughts rushing in [like this one] non-stop, uncontrollably, and definitely pointless since it has no where to go. What is wrong? What went wrong? Why? WHAT NOW?

Well anyway, I'd hate to disappoint anybody reading this, but I must admit I ought to stop it here. Or maybe just pause and cut in here, and continue some other time--when I'm in a better, logical mood of discussing more deeply this subject. I just wanted to wake up the senses and check on how life, or rather the years, has been.

It has taken me more than a minute on how on earth I ought to put this revelation to me: being more than doing. Quarter-life: should the focus then be on being or on doing?

mood contemplative
listen Rihanna's Take A Bow
read Your Youth: Getting the Best of It
watch Tomb Raider

yahn @ 11:35 PM | Ice-peek! [Add comment/s]

June 14th, 2008

They Were Right All Along

Amazingly, I actually managed to read through this Christian book we have at home entitled Your Youth: Getting the Best of It. It was old and dusty, even hard-bound, but I can't seem to read it because of all those things I didn't really want to hear about God and His laws. Until recently.

I thought I would drop again the book and even think of selling it on our next fund raising activity. Then again, the book surprised me, and I began to wonder: am I just getting old, or did I really commit terrible mistakes that I could have otherwise escaped...

Only had I listened to my parents' counsel?

I'm just thankful having realized this soon enough--before I even make worse mistakes.

Lord, I thank You for guiding us through this life tirelessly.
Thank You for preserving Your word for us to remember the important things that we keep on forgetting. Thank You for that thick book of Law, the Pentateuch,  the Torah, the chronicles of the seers, the Gospels, the epistles of your apostles, and even the publications of your modern-day disciples.
Thank You for providing us with wise counsel, in the form of family, mentors, friends, acquaintances, competitions, and even enemies.
Thank You for Your patience and persistence until we get the lessons right, and heed Your advice.
I have to say I need Your counsel now more than ever--now that I'm almost through with a quarter, or maybe even half, of my life.
Now my prayer is to listen and obey all the more.
In Jesus' name. Amen.

They do know better after all.
mood satisfied

yahn @ 12:03 AM | The Letters, Ice-peek!, Book Of The Yahn [5 comment/s]

June 21st, 2008

First Day Ups [and Downs]

Rules:

• Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
• Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules.
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.
• Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog

1. I'm already done with this kind of tag, wherein I've written thirteen, not just ten, facts about me. Well, this time, I'll just use this as an excuse for updating by chronicling what happened on my first week as an official Junior Engineering Student.
   
2. Bleeding Love keeps playing in my head ever since I've seen it in American Idol. And it now plays more often in my mind than before--and when it does, I remember my cute classmate in ES 26. God, how thankful am I for not cancelling that subject! You'd rather not know why that song reminds me of him.
   
3. That cute classmate of mine I'm talking about happens to be a campus figure. So, the moment I heard the teacher called out his name, chills went up and down my spine as if I've just heard a celebrity's name. My blocmate pointed him out to me while we were browsing through his Friendster profile, so basically I've first seen him in photograph only, and I just thought he was cute. But, goodness! He looked so much better in person, I'd say! I didn't recognize him until the teacher called out his name.
4. My work as the Internal Affairs Head has already started with my first assignment, Sem Starter, which  is supposed to be a joint activity with the brods. Yeah, I already met with their Internals and we had a great plan ahead for bonding activities! Oooh, how I wish they all work as planned. Now all we have to wait for is for a bright, sunny Saturday day.
5. I so love my schedule because, for the first time, I finally got my desired schedule: straight classes, none of them starting at 7 or 8 AM. Yay! Plus, even though I have quite a heavy load this sem with four major subjects, three of which have laboratory classes, and two basic subjects, I do not regret having taken all of them. I could have cancelled one major with lab, but thankfully I did not! For in every lab class I'm looking forward for a cute-looking classmate. *kilig*
6. I was struck hard yesterday upon being reminded of how deliberately I have broken my promises--to others, even to my own self, and especially to God. I definitely have to be more serious this time areound--not only with my academics, but with my commitments as well!
7. We also had our first OG meeting this semester, and we had a great time catching up with one another. It was then that I learned much more about my uber-genius Physics teacher, and how lucky I am with all my other teachers, but I also get to tell them that they too are lucky.
8. I was also the assigned media team for the first Youth Service in church this sem! Talk about pressure! But then, at the end of the service, I still got tapped on back by the senior pastor, with matching 'Good work!' Well, talk about God's grace!
9. I, together with my blocmate and all my other classmates for that subject, happen to be stood up by our teacher in a particular subject. S/he left all of us hanging and waiting by this room, which eventually turned out to be the same classroom at the same given time as ours for another Biology major subject! I wonder what will happen to us next week. Where on earth are we supposed to go then?
10. And then more events happened in the campus, along with other UP campuses, over the past week, as we all celebrated the Centennial Anniversary of our campus. Talk about grand! We participated in this parade, and what we got for ourselves are blisters on our feet, and the sticky feeling of the hot post-summer weather.
    

I tag: everyone who gets to read this post. You know who you are.

listen Jesse McCartney's Bleeding Love

yahn @ 08:52 PM | Book Of The Yahn [1 comment/s]