Entries for July, 2008
July 5th, 2008
Three Straight Days
... of sleeplessness.
... of gimiks.
... of busyness.
And to begin with, it's only the third week of classes. What more could happen? How much more could I endure?
mood exhausted
yahn @ 09:07 PM | Book Of The Yahn [2 comment/s]
July 7th, 2008
Fun Grace
Dear Lord,
So lately I've been busy doing errands here and there, eh? There were those quizzes and assignments that had to be submitted on the appointed date and time, requirements to be brought along every meeting, and of course deadlines to meet in favorable response to the duties and responsibilities I've been given.
But of course, I never lost time for You. I've consistently started my day, as I have done for the last six months, in prayer and bible-reading--fervently seeking Your will in all my dealings.
Then again, as the day goes by, one by one my obligations are met and the tasks are accomplished, I look back at the end of the day and ask, 'Where's my God in all these? Have I really considered Him?' Where were You in my thoughts for the last few days?
I have to admit: the past week was perhaps the funnest of my college life so far. No, it's not funny, rather it was totally fun. Bonding with the brods--one of my main concern as an organizer of internal activities--I must admit it was fun for me. The committee that I never thought I could be part of, now I was appointed head of it. I'm obviously become more and more attached to the sorority, as well to the fraternity.
Yet when I get back at the dorm and start on remembering and listing down my drinking sessions we've had for the day, I wonder to myself if you could forgive me for this--for deliberately breaking my promises to You. You've punished enough Israelites already back then. But then, You never change--You always give second chances and offer grace.
And that's just what I love about You. That's what keeps me from straying very far away. Because, indeed, when I've lost everyone else, You do remain. You keep on pursuing no matter how painful one pushes You away.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank You both for the fun and grace. I have no idea what could've happened to me without You all along, even without me noticing. I know You never change, just as Your unconditional love never fails. Hope I get to pay You back. Or rather become more and more like the woman You've designed me to be.
I love You.
~Yahn
yahn @ 04:25 PM | The Letters [Add comment/s]
July 13th, 2008
Filling Time
Solo Shopping Night
What do you get for walking alone, wandering aimlessly in a crowded mall?
Having a foreigner introduce himself to you in his native tongue... with matching shake hands!
And in response, as I would have always done, I ignored the poor lad who was just trying to make friends in a foreign land. Am sorry for being that cruelly blunt.
Anyway, I did go to the mall this afternoon until it almost closed--alone. Mom dropped me off at Festival Mall while she bought tiles and construction materials-slash-decorations she needed for the house renovation. Yes, our house is being renovated once again. I'm just thankful I don't get to go home on a weekly basis, so as not to be disturbed by the renovation, and vice-versa.
While walking around the aforementioned mall 'aimlessly,' my mind began to linger upon some issues that I believe I have chosen to bury beyond the recesses of my memory so as not to be bothered until the timing is right: the love affair.
I was wondering, as I came near the thrift shops, why on earth I have bothered to go the mall when I know for a fact that I have nothing to buy there [well, at least for now] and I'm not exactly a 'mall-person.' It just hit me like bullet that I'm not like those women in magazine who claim that shopping is a way for women to unwind and let alone be a favorable answer to stress. I come to the realization that I don't feel any better when I shop since I only shop when I only need to. My idea of a real good time with girl-friends and the like is either a real-hard party or a relaxing meal. I recall my usual routine every exam: study, exam, headache, discuss, unwind! Unwinding to me is the night life.
Then again, maybe this is true of me only because of my 'single-hood.' All right, so here we go again.
After going out that thrift store, fully satisfied with the apparel I've tried on and bought for such a low price, I began to wonder what I'd be like with someone--to be in a relationship for a change.
This was just one of my many discussions with my discipler the other night: what's your kind of man? Well, I did admit that I started to write a list of that sort a few weeks back when insomnia was starting to hit my system. At first, I resisted writing the list because I was really waiting for an inspiration [not exactly a person, I suppose] so that I will have the right criteria. Then again, I was reminded that the perfect list isn't necessarily listed in one sitting--it had to go through many drafts, rewriting and even reversing.
So, I started the list, and this turned out to be my number one criteria, though it wasn't the first that I've actually written [though, it was the one I ranked first]: security. Indeed, I need no handsome, clever, utterly-wise man. What I want, and I'm discerning that God does to, is a man who will protect me and make me feel secure for who I am. God pinpointed to me that as I was created to be this man's helper, so did he create him to fill my weaknesses. If he was indeed to be handsome, he better be, even just for me. 
Well, that was about it for one of those many solo nights of mine. I'm looking forward to writing those entries wherein it wasn't just my story to tell, but OURS.
Wrestling With A Busy Schedule
How's life so far?
Mine's horrendously busy--filled with lots of assignments, requirements , meetings, dates and deadlines! Add to that exams and obligations. Whoa! I've never been really this exhausted yet--even when I was an applicant.
And to think I'm planning to join yet another organization next semester.
What do I really want with my life now?
...
I just want to graduate on time--THAT'S ALL!
Note to self: Joining the sorority wasn't the worst the decision of my life. Nope, it isn't, and on the contrary, it so far the best that has happened to me. My worst decision so far is not pausing when I should have to weigh my choices and gain wisdom from the wise.
If I could only turn back time...
What an utterly sad post. *sigh*
mood sleepy
listen My Samsung D900i Message Alert Tone
read Boylestad's Introductory Circuit Analysis
watch Samurai X Season 1
yahn @ 12:07 AM | Book Of The Yahn [Add comment/s]
July 25th, 2008
Just A Recent Activity Pic
Friends forever, eh?
In a while, I'm gonna leave this town and simply fly off to Manila and absent myself in one of those major subjects just to prove once again my loyalty to my gool ol' friends.
And I'm not even talking about the people in the picture.
Anyway, I guess that reason for attending a long-time friend's 19th birthday celebration will never suffice [can never be enough reason for excuse] for having myself miss a class in Physics. But what can I do? I guess I'd rather have fun and reunite with my high school pals rather than sit in class and fall half-asleep even before the class starts.
Toodles for now. More detailed updates sometime later on.
mood stressed
listen David Cook's Always Be My Baby
read Introductory Circuit Analysis
yahn @ 01:49 PM | Book Of The Yahn [3 comment/s]